Without going into loads of detail, I'm a year or so separated from a very abusive husband. Nearly 20 years of it.
As time goes by I recognise more and more the ways I live and things I do because he insisted on it. Not going along with his rules meant anger escalating to violence depending how quickly I backed down.
One of his big things was my appearance. He was happy to spend plenty of money on my clothes (which he chose), makeup, hair cuts, jewellery. Might sound great, but it wasn't, it was another set of rules. The length and shape of my nails, brows, style and colour of my hair, getting sent back inside if I left the house with no lipstick.
So today, I'm mostly cleaning the house and a bit of shopping. I've just got dressed and put my make up on. Second best foundation, one coat only of mascara, no brow colour, no hair product, just ran my fingers through it. No jewellery. I still look "groomed", but I'm happy with it. I haven't felt some inner compulsion to Red Carpet prep myself for the day.
A tiny thing, but to me it's significant progress. I'm proud of myself. I'm slowly, slowly rediscovering myself. Typing this out has actually made me cry. Good job this is waterproof mascara! I will recover.
Anyone else taking baby steps?
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Recovering from abuse, one baby step at a time
2 replies
aLeafFalls · 24/04/2016 11:10
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