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Conversations always ends about dh?feeling an Awful wife

(12 Posts)
sugarbuttys Sat 02-Apr-16 22:55:10

I feel really bad saying this but We talk about his work and ideas for creating a better work for him or business ideas which is great and i have always been there to listen, support and give my ideas advice etc. but ive noticed that any/every conversation that we have always ends up being about him? For eg, he asked me if I wanted to stay working along side him if this new business idea came to plan as my recent job would end up getting rid of me as we work for the company as it would be a conflict of interest if he starts his own simular business up himself, I started to explain that I would help out part time but Id be hoping to also find something that interests me something that made me tick. and somehow we ended up talking about how his work benefits him? And ideas he has? Then it hit me that every conversation we have has always been the same, it always ends of being about him? Lol does anyone else get this?

ApocalypseSlough Sat 02-Apr-16 23:01:52

confused
Why does that make you feel awful?

sugarbuttys Sat 02-Apr-16 23:17:27

Mainly as he's very driven, that I should be grateful, shouldn't i be?

HeddaGarbled Sat 02-Apr-16 23:20:56

Nope

Divathecat Sat 02-Apr-16 23:32:28

He doesn't want an equal. Sorry to be blunt

singingsixpence82 Sun 03-Apr-16 01:36:10

You should read Wifework by Susan Maushart - this is very common in modern marriages and relationships unfortunately. They tend to revolve around the man because of something called "emotion work" that women do a lot of and men do very little of. I can completely see why it makes you feel awful. I wouldn't stay with someone whose main conversational focus was himself.

butteredmuffin Sun 03-Apr-16 02:30:16

Why should you feel like an awful wife for wanting your husband to take an interest in what's going on in your life? Marriage is a two-way street. You are not just there to cook his dinner, tell him how great he is and laugh at his jokes.

Atenco Sun 03-Apr-16 05:31:59

I have had friends like that, just glad that I didn't have to live with them fulltime.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 03-Apr-16 08:45:39

What do you think he'd say if you pulled him up by saying "I thought we were supposed to be talking about me"? Just stare at you blankly, perhaps?

RickJames Sun 03-Apr-16 08:48:08

My DH is a bit like this, he is always bursting his seams to talk about all his ideas and plans. It can get pretty wearing. However, he accepts it when I point this out because he values the marriage and although (I believe) in an ideal world he'd spend all day bending my ear, he doesn't. He is also very supportive of my work and various consuming hobbies.
It wasn't always so, and I had a few years of constantly having to say "that was a story about me/someone else" or "back to what I was talking about" but it's in balance now.
Noone is perfect but people should be prepared to work on things. How does he react when you tell him you've had enough of his chatter?

HeddaGarbled Sun 03-Apr-16 09:16:55

Oh by the way, I'm not sure that it would be legal for your employers to get rid of you because of something your husband is doing.

sugarbuttys Sun 03-Apr-16 10:26:12

I have in the past said but not very nicely, "how has this conversation ended up being about you" he has looked at me as if to say geezer what side of the bed did you wake up on but he has apologised, Rick he is completely the same, he would talk about it all day if he could and is also very supportive of me this is why I feel bad but yes it does grind on me sometimes, its every evening and that's fine, maybe all I'm needing to do is just say when it's getting a bit much, thanks for that! we work for the same company and he's decided with a few other directors to consider doing it themselves but better, I'm thinking I've got an operation at the end of this month nothing big just cameras through my tummy to confirm if I do or don't have endo, I had said I was a bit worried about it and he'd said why don't I put it off until I felt more ready for it, maybe it's this that I need him to be there for me n worry that this new adventure is going to distract him.

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