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I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable

(10 Posts)
Headdesk Mon 28-Mar-16 16:13:51

I'm not sure if relationships is the best place for this but I need advice.
I have a dp, very happy, been together nearly 3 years. Not sure if this is relevant but thought I'd put it in there.
I have been in contact with a group of people for a kind of project I'm doing (think journalism) and one guy has been particularly friendly which was fine. I'm extremely grateful for the people who are helping me with this project. But now this guy (who has a wife and small child) is messaging me about nothing to do with the project. It's making me very uncomfortable, like asking me how old I am and what music I like and how old I think he is and other things that I can only describe as flirty. I need to stay in touch with this guy because my project is far from over but his flirty attitude is making me so uncomfortable, I'm sure if his wife would not be happy with how he is speaking to me. If I reply it's always with polite but very unfllirty replies, usually one word, yes or no's. I don't want to be rude but I also do not want him to think I'm encouraging him talk to me like that. What do I do??? Am i reading too much into it? Are some people just flirty? I've never given him any indication that I want to talk to him about anything other than the work I am doing. I do have to meet up with this group of people including him on a regular basis and now it's making me nervous enough not to want to go to the next meeting.

nomorechocolate2016 Mon 28-Mar-16 16:18:38

Don't bother responding out of politeness. Just completely ignore as if you are too busy to reply. Go to the next meeting and treat him the same as everyone else. If it continues you will have to he really direct and tell him you are in a relationship and not interested.

whimsical1975 Mon 28-Mar-16 16:21:13

I absolutely agree, don't reply to anything unless work related!

Headdesk Mon 28-Mar-16 16:21:16

I think my problem is that I'm overly polite, I have really bad anxiety and I'm not good at confrontation and I'm always worried people think bad of me. He started messaging me at 2am the other day which I think is really actually quiet rude (I was awake because I was out with friends) I would never message anyone that late!
I think you're right and I will just ignore anything that is not work related, but he is my main contact with that group of people so I don't want to mess my contact up :/

Squeegle Mon 28-Mar-16 16:26:44

Yeah just ignore. He will get the message. But be polite when you see him, and if you need to get in touch re anything work related then do so.

Squeegle Mon 28-Mar-16 16:27:16

Of course 2 am is rude!!

Headdesk Mon 28-Mar-16 16:29:49

I feel bad for his wife (who I've met and is really lovely). I would not be happy with my dp speaking to other women like that sad

IreallyKNOWiamright Tue 29-Mar-16 12:14:03

Ignoring this one is the best policy
He clearly thinks because he is helping you in some way, he is expecting something in return. Not normal.

TheNaze73 Tue 29-Mar-16 12:16:56

His behaviour in unacceptable & inappropriate on so many levels. I would just ignore him.

FredaMayor Tue 29-Mar-16 15:51:19

Forward his wife the messages and your problem will go away.

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