Confronting people

[iwannadancewithsomebody]

There are two people in my life I need to confront over their recent actions but I really hate confrontations! I don't feel I express what I need to yet in my mind I know what I need to say.

The first is a work colleague who I know will stab me in the back, she's a complete cow and I don't trust her. I don't want her friendship but I know I have to be professional. My line manager won't deal with her, I think she may have something on her.

The second is a family member who has excluded me from a family event. I don't believe it's intentionally, they have been caught up in the excitement of the organisation of everything and I am not on their radar so they have totally overlooked us. I'm normally ok with having limited contact with this family member but considering we have been left out/forgotten about, I am quite angry about it. It's an important event but now the event is next week, the family member has tried to squeeze us in but I really don't want to go now as an after thought. Plus there is work and travel commitments that need to be arranged.

I haven't said anything but tried to remain polite about the whole thing yet inside I am furious. I don't want to make a huge deal about it but I feel like I have to say something, but how.

[Goandplay]

I have tried to reply but nothing seems to work. Sorry. Didn't want to just go after reading.

It takes me a while to confront someone with lots of practise with what I want to say.

I think the main idea is to state what you think is the issue, how you feel about it and how you intend to deal with it going forward. All very calmly.

Probably not helpful at all, sorry. On the bright side at least these two situations involve people you're not particularly close to. I hate it when you have to confront someone you love/like.

[manandbeast]

In both cases I wouldn't confront.

Better ways of dealing with difficult work people than confrontation - not well regarded in the workplace.

In the case of the event- you say yourself it was an oversight and you have now been invited. So just go and enjoy it!!!

[SavoyCabbage]

I wouldn't either.

The family member one is a mistake. What would it achieve? Do you just want to express how hurt you feel. I suppose it would ensure that same person wouldn't forget you again. Maybe you could become more active in your family so that you are not overlooked.

I wouldn't confront anyone in a work situation. I might say something like 'do not talk to me like that Melanie.' But that's as far as I would go I think.

[spudlike1]

Done confront the work colleague she will love it that your bothered by her .
Just be strategic in how you deal with her

[spudlike1]

Done- don't