Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

feeling angry and not cared about

(4 Posts)
Pigzoom Wed 06-Jan-16 22:15:17

Hi
Sorry I'm probably being over sensitive but i appreciate your thoughts. Just feel constantly let down and put down by DP.
I got tipsy a few weeks ago and told some close friends something and felt really awful as I wasn't supposed to say anything, it was about a friend but it was in a caring way. Sorry that probably doesn't make sense. Anyway I had such anxiety about it all. I said to my DP that I was so worried about it and it was churning me up inside, (in hindsight it's not too bad). He said well I don't know why you said it I was trying to stop you. I felt so hurt by him. I said well that's the last time I come to you for reassurance.
Another time I was chatting about whether to work one afternoon a week, he says I don't have to, I have an open job (which I'm slowly building a career out of, around small children) and can pick up work as and when, I was trying to discuss childcare costs etc and he said it's hardly earning a living. I felt quite hurt as I've been trying to build up a career, even though I have low self esteem.
Is he unsupportive or am I just ultra sensitive? I can't think of other examples but it's not just a few times he has made me feel
Like this.
Can u wise MNetters help?

greengreenten Wed 06-Jan-16 22:32:03

Possibly a bit of both sorry.

Try and take his comments as just that....his comments. You are still allowed your own thoughts and opinions and need to learn to trust them without seeking his opinion, OK different when it comes to your work arrangements. However if he gives his invited opinion, then you have a choice whether to accept it or just listen and measure it against what you think.

All part of the low self esteem thing I'm afraid. Work on boosting that and the rest will fall into place. Tell yourself good things about yourself and keep a list of ten things in your phone or bag and look at it regularly, every day. It's proven to work. Honest wink

Pigzoom Wed 06-Jan-16 23:11:26

You are right. I'm so defensive all the time and it's wearing me down.
I'll write a list of ten good things, but will take a while(!)
Thanks for response

greengreenten Thu 07-Jan-16 07:06:18

You're welcome.
I've suffered with low self esteem and it's tough. But keep updating your list of good things either about you or things you've done, could be something as simple as cooking something nice, doing your hair well, making a cuppa for someone or saying good morning to a stranger. Basically anything that someone else would say 'well done, that was great/ really nice of you'.

Keep updating your list when something good can be added. It's basically brain washing yourself to believe your good and strong, then once that improves so does confidence. All the best!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now