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Domestic Violence

(8 Posts)
HugglePuffCherryPop Wed 30-Dec-15 00:03:19

Hello beautiful people-

I have read quite a few posts on relationships here, that are a mere factor of Domestic Violence.

I would like to let you into my world for a few minutes, and allow you to see the shameful truth of what can happen if you stay where you are.

Please Note - I am not a product of domestic violence. I am a product of a person who has had to bury many friends due to it.

Let's start with a girl (We will name her Samantha)

What a lovely man she met. Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, loving, caring. And one who had a great job, and loved children. A very romantic man. What more could you possibly want, right? WRONG.

The first year was great. Our circle of friends was small, but we enjoyed every minute of it.
The second year was great as well
I was so happy for Samantha. And Deep down. I wished that I would marry a person just like her partner.
After the second year I started hearing from Samantha less and less. We would see each other, only if I would go to her house. Eventually. The door would never be answered. Regardless of if I could hear the TV or not. Or footsteps around the house. As soon as I'd knock. It would go quiet.

Our nights out came to an end. And excuses were made each time I tried to make plans. I thought that this was just what happened in some instances throughout relationships. We just grow up, and move on, to create a life for ourselves.

It wasn't until her parents started calling. Questioning their daughters where about's; that Curiosity started hitting me.

I went over to the house, and went through the back door. No one was home.
The house was a mess. The windows were sealed. There were chores for Samantha written on a grubby fridge.m, that was once beautiful and clean.
The bathroom was locked with a key. And inside the bedroom was a single bottle. I could clearly tell what it was, as the smell of urine filled the room.
Spotted Bloodstains filled the walls. Shattered picture frames and holes in the shape of fists filled the walls in the house.

I messaged her that night. And told her what I saw. She was furious I had entered the house. And said she couldn't text because he'd catch her. I asked her to meet me out the front when he fell asleep.

She did. But the fear of him catching her, tore me up. I offered her a new beginning away from such a monster.
She told me he does not let her use the bathroom. She has to use the bottle. The only time the doors are not locked, are when he is home. But he didn't want her escaping through the bathroom window.

We both cried for 10 minutes before he stormed out the door, grabbing her by the hair, holding a knife. Yelling insanity that she is a Whore trying to escape.

I jumped in the middle, and took a beating myself. As she curled up in a ball.
A passer by, called police. And he was arrested.

For a few months, he lived in a cell. And she promised to leave. We had everything set up for her. Money, a home, a job.

He was released. And she changed her mind. This went on for years. As she started creating excuses that he had changed. It got to a point where the police were called that often. They took their time to get there. And when they would. She would blame herself. And make excuses for him.

That week, was her burial. He is now serving 20 years behind bars.

I cut the story very short. And missed out quite a bit, so I could get to my point.

Anyone facing domestic violence. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. But unless you want to end up like my friend. I advise the excuses you make, to stop!!!
Whether it be out of love, out of fear, or out of hope for change. This is the end result. This is the truth. And This is what happens on a daily basis, that is not in the newspapers and online!

There is help, there are places to escape.
This is just one of the many stories I faced. One of the many women I tried to save.
Only one of the many women that died!

Please! Take the help that is offered. The MONSTER that you "love" does NOT love you! Please realise that. This is NOT love.

And in your instance, of escape. The grass IS greener on the other side.

An offender is more likely to kill you In a relationship. Than out of one.

Good Luck everyone!
Domestic violence is NOT OKAY.

HugglePuffCherryPop Wed 30-Dec-15 00:14:43

*Please people. Whether you are a Woman or a Man in a violent relationship.
Please don't become just another statistic.
Physical abuse is NOT the only abuse. Isolation/not sharing funds/ choice of who you can talk to etc: Many of these things are classified as domestic violence. Please do some research and take a look, and judge for yourself*

exWifebeginsat40 Wed 30-Dec-15 00:27:26

okay!

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep Wed 30-Dec-15 00:33:54

the thing is you also need to know that any violenca and abuse is wrong and worth leaving over. just because they do nto beat you to a pulp or lock you up dos not make it ok.

leave early. before it gets bad.

HugglePuffCherryPop Wed 30-Dec-15 00:34:39

Exactly !!

I couldn't edit, so wrote it down in a comment.

goddessofsmallthings Wed 30-Dec-15 00:48:13

A long overdue new law came into effect on Tuesday www.gov.uk/government/news/coercive-or-controlling-behaviour-now-a-crime and officers assigned to police dv units in England and Wales have been, and are being, trained to recognise criminally controlling behaviour and will arrest the culprits.

Read more about it here www.theguardian.com/society/2015/dec/29/domestic-abuse-law-controlling-coercive-behaviour

It's to be hoped that the publicity which will be given to the first prosecutions will encourage victims to come forward and will also deter perpetrators of this particularly demeaning and demoralising form of domestic abuse.

Jux Wed 30-Dec-15 02:33:55

Amen.

Supermanspants Wed 30-Dec-15 02:43:12

I am a product of a person who has had to bury many friends due to it

Can you explain this comment please?

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