This is a long story but I will try and keep it as short as possible.
Last year at the age of 49 I discovered I had a half sister. My Mum and Dad split when my brother and I were very young and he moved from Northern Ireland to England where he started a new family.
As it transpires my father had an affair with a woman and they went to England but she returned to NI within a matter of months while he had no option but to remain in England as he was "Discouraged" from returning to NI by my mothers family and a few "others".
My mother went on to marry the husband of the woman my father had the affair with and he moved in with his son when I was 11 my brother being 4 yrs younger than me. Our stepbrother was 2 yrs younger and became the middle child of the house.
As it transpires my fathers family contacted my mother when I was 14 to be informed of my sisters birth but I was never told.
Last year my mother admitted that my brother was looking into the family tree and had found our sister on facebook, however he had not contacted her.
After a few days I decided to contact my sister and we struck up a friendship. Being honest I told my mother of this and it became an issue of such contention that we have not spoken for almost six months.
My brother contacted our sister a few months after I did and trying to be reasonable I encouraged her to talk to him even though he and I had become estranged many years ago for reasons which still baffle me.
I have recently discovered that my brother and his wife have visited our sister and I am sure he is keeping our mother in the dark about this.
My sister is unaware that I know of the visit as I have yet to mention it.
I feel that my younger brother has manipulated the whole situation and I have been cast as the villain of the piece.
My brother has shown he has no need for a brother, he has engineered the demise of the relationship between my mother and I, although she has contributed to this by being dishonest with me about knowing of my sisters birth and my fathers death 9 yrs ago. I am at a loss then to understand his new found deep connection to our sister while at the same time telling our mother that he was backing out of the relationship.
Should I confront them all, my sister included our just cut all ties and concentrate on our 3 sons their wives and our 7 grandchildren with an 8th on the way who all comprise my loving and supportive family.
Is it wrong to expect others to give me at least a little respect when I and my wife have done so much for my mother. who now lives alone, up until this revelation.
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4 replies
firewalkeruk · 25/11/2015 23:55
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