I don't mean to moan about this but it's caused the vast majority of rows between over the past 4 years we've been together!!
Any advice would be great....
His friends - who are like family are very nice but also immature and rude. We used to meet with them regularly and although I get on with most people, love to socialise etc I've always found its been like sandpaper with them. The girlfriends/wives are very clicky and tend to socialise together often, any new girlfriends I befriend easily and within a short period of time stop hearing from them because they joined the click.
One of his friends wife stirred up a lot of trouble and even tried to split us up!! I've been to hell and back with his best friend telling me at a social event in a state of drunkiness I was manipulative and controlling all because he didn't see my other half as often!!
What frustrates me is I always try to organise meals out with them, I've got into the habit of asking them individually as couples out for dinner or over for dinner in an attempt to keep my other half happy and to try. That worked for a while however soon ended when they still acted the same in a group setting.
None of my friends treat my other half like this and always include him, are friendly etc and talk respectively and maturely about my other half. The are never off or rude.
My other half doesn't see it and poo poos it when I mention anything about how uncomfortable I feel and when they act inappropriate.
Some past things have included -
*One wife attempting to lap dance on his lap at a party, undoing my partners shirt (this was the first party id attended and we'd only been together 3 months)
*Girlfriends sitting on my partners lap at weddings
*Girlfriends/wives pulling my partner and his guy friends trousers down
*Inviting only my partner to events on social media sites
I've said at points I no longer want to spend time with his friends but thats then unfair and I don't want my partner to have to choose.
He did agree that when his friend confronted me about my behaviour that was out of order and he apparently spoke to him about this and I did receive an apology.
I've been away this weekend and out of the blue my partner was invited out where all his friends toast his new flat. We've just bought a flat which has been a long and big achievement together after saving hard. Something we both feel over the moon about. Despite us sending moving in cards and presents to his friends, we hear nothing - not even a text or fb message. We had a row last night as here we are again and I feel totally excluded like normal but I can't help but think they see on fb I'm away and all of a sudden my partner is invited out with them and not only that solo celebrations with no word or invite to celebrate out achievement together!!!. I'm prob over sensitive by it now but 4 years of this and I really think now I'm never going to be accepted. We have a wedding to attend this weekend and their all be there - I already feel anxious!!
I've got to the point where I feel it's best to just be polite and rise above it, tolerate it, don't drink alcohol and leave the events once it hits midnight, with or without my partner. Is this the way it should be???
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Other halves inconsiderate friends!!
5 replies
Stanleyblack · 13/07/2015 05:40
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