Sibling jealousy

[Mongui]

All,

I have two children, a little boy aged 3 and a half, and a little girl, aged 11 months.

My son has always been quite jealous of his little sister. For some reason, his jealosy seems to be getting worse. It concerns me that he very often tries to hit her or push her around. In fact, I cannot leave him alone with her because it is not safe. In many ocassions, he wasn't aware I was in the same room and he always takes the opportunity to hit her.

My first question, is this normal and how do you deal with this? Of course I am firm and discipline him when he misbehaves with his sister. But it is as if could not help it!

Also, she has recently learnt how to walk and since then he does everything he possibly can to take my attention.

I am concerned about his attitude to his sister but I am also very sad because he must be having a very bad time. He is a sweet little boy and very well behaved, generally. But he is being sooo difficult lately! I admit that a couple of times I have lost my temper with him. I know I shouldn't, but we are all human beings and sometimes he makes things very difficult. I am convinced he does it to get my attention, even if it is a negative attention.

I have decided that it will be good if once a week we do an activity together, just the two of us. I started last week. We went swimming and then had an ice cream. He was the happiest little boy! I will continue to do this.

Equally, I show signs of affection and love to my daughter in front of him because I think he has to accept that I love her as well as I love him. I of course tell him all the time how much I love him.

Anything else I can do? I would like to ensure he feels loved, supported and understood. Equally, he has to understand that agression to his sister is not acceptable and that she is a member of the family that we all love just as we love him.

Am I missing something? What can I do to help my little boy?

[lostinnormandieland]

Hi, it sounds familiar! The behaviour can not be ignored but instead of punishment time out worked for mine. Yes a lot of cuddles and reassurance that he is still loved will also help and you are doing the right thing by taking out on his own. Try the book 'Siblings without rivalry' by Faber and Mazlish. An old time favourite. Good luck

[jesy]

Ask your health visitor about the solihul approach,

It needs to be nipped in bud , I was a nanny and the eldest child was aggressive to the youngest and if didn't like being told off she'd be aggressive to me.
It hard to watch them all the time as life goes on.

You have seen that there is an issue which is great , the family I worked for didn't see it even after the eldest pushed the other down stairs .