I've lost count how many times I've posted on here but here goes.
DH and I have been together for 11 years with two very young DC and we are seemingly happily married to others from the outside. However I've started to question whether he is the cause of me feeling unwell. It is not a relationship, even when DC are away it still feels like we're not together. It's toxic.
The same issues come up, the need for him to be always right, feeling he is justified to criticise my behaviour (I'm a moody bear at times) but if I critique his, he gets defensive and tries to shout/argue me into backing down. I've become a SAHM mum last year through ill health and the constant housework is the equivalent of a real job. Of course he argues that he is tired and his day is more stressful than me and that he has no time to support me, apart from occasionally cooking where he uses every utensil and pot and expects me to tidy it all. I have to remember everything aspect kids news/activity related as he doesn't have time. If I get cross, there is an argument where apparently I don't use my day effectively (on your bloody phone more like! Common answer from him) and my activities at home aren't that stressful, he Also said living in a developing country like India is hard, not mine, I'm very fortunate.
Earlier I said I suffer from mental health issues, it is a constant battle to feel upbeat. I stay up late as I can't switch off and get up early for DC as he leaves for commute very early too, he used to come home earlier to collect DC with his flexible working hours but nowadays he gets in later, he does dinner, baths kids and falls asleep quickly usually after a sneaky shot of vodka.
I feel low and unhappy in this. Started to make new friends, there's a chap I speak to occasionally if we bump into each other but more platonic, it makes me feel like the old beautiful me again. I've lost that feeling through being unwell which I think DH is contributor to. Today was final straw, please don't think this is a 'first world problem'....he left our upstairs toilet in a filthy state and I mean filthy, I was nearly physically ill. I've told him I've had enough after a few angry texts from me and when I got back from my class, I didn't speak to him.
Firstly am I being unreasonable? I love him when all is good but I don't feel this is healthy relationship for me. Secondly, although being alone scares me, where do I stand as a SAHM if we decide to split?
Hope I can get some good help and support, I so need hugs. I can't discuss off here as people think he walks on water, family too (including my undiagnosed NPD mother).
Thanks for getting this far!
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Relationships
I'm thinking of splitting for mental health reasons
18 replies
Izzyzuleagea · 21/05/2015 01:24
OP posts:
Plumpeduppillows ·
21/05/2015 09:23
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