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Relationships

Dividing House Contents

15 replies

EFG123 · 26/03/2015 20:41

I fear discussions with XH to be aren't going to go well regarding division of assets.

He has some unrealistic expectations about how things should be split, my solicitor has given me his view and I'd like to find a compromise between the two. He'll get a better deal from me than a judge if he plays nicely and I'd prefer to stay on good terms if possible.

Anyway he seems to think if i don't agree with his view on splitting house equity it's going to get messy and we'll have to look at dividing house contents etc. He also thinks he could force me to sell the house.

What i wanted to ask is, if this does get into a legal battle ( which hopefully if he gets a solicitor he'll be advised against) is it likely that a court would agree to him taking furniture, the tv etc. when DC are living in the house and I'm buying him out? I don't think he'd really do that to the DC but then I never thought he'd have an affair and leave me, so what do I know.

His argument begin that he's starting again and I'm getting a furnished housr so he needs more cash, but he won't be setting up on his own i don't think.

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Micah · 26/03/2015 20:49

All I know is fron dh's pov.

Basically a court won't/can't make the dc homeless, so as long as he isn't homeless either, likely you will be awarded the right to buy him out (the amount will be set to what you can afford), or there will be some arrangement to sell and split when the dc are adults, or you co-habit with a new partner.

they usually don't agree to taking furniture etc to the detriment of the dc either. Including any car you may have if you need it to get the dc about. Dh got nothing but what he took when she threw him out. She did promise some of his personal belongings, music, sound system etc, but he never got them, couldn't force her, and not worth the legal fees to recover them.

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EFG123 · 26/03/2015 21:04

That's reassuring, I'm fine with buying him out and releasing him from the mortgage but don't want to overstretch myself financially, I need enough money after bills etc. So the DC and myself can maintain a reasonable standard of living.

He's welcome to all his gadgets, which are the more saleable items anyway, but I really don't want him taking furniture and things I'll have to replace, seems pointless, and as if she's going to want our furniture in their new house.

I'm willing to come to a reasonable agreement which gives him some money to start again, just not quite the figure he has in mind, unless he wants to offer me some of his pension.

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Micah · 26/03/2015 21:28

I think with Dh's ex, her solicitor calculated what mortgage she could get, then offered DH the difference between old and new mortgage- so basically she arranged an equity release. So old mortgage was 80k (price house bought for), ex remortgaged for 100k, DH got 20k.

House was worth 250k, but value wasn't taken into account, as it was deemed she couldn't remortgage and pay the 85k which would have been his share of any sale.

Like I said, a court's priority will be housing the DC, so any buy out costs will take into account your financial situation.

Get a good solicitor

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cozietoesie · 26/03/2015 23:07

....He's welcome to....

Those are fatal words if it comes to law. OK if he has sentimental family items but I'd strongly recommend that you keep things formal with assets acquired during the course of the marriage.

I trust you're doing a pension division in any case?

Get thee to a good solicitor.

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EFG123 · 27/03/2015 05:47

We've asked for pension information, it's a negotiation point as far as I'm concerned in terms of offsetting against equity. I've also had the house valued but have explained it's largely irrelevant, as there's a limit to how much debt I'm prepared to take on with DC to support on one income (plus maintenance).

I've got a good solicitor, I need to see him again once the pension information comes back, he's already marked me down as a soft touch.

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Lovingfreedom · 27/03/2015 07:27

It's unwise to start talking figures before you know what the assets are worth (including pension). Listen to your solicitor and go with the figure s/he suggests as a starting point. As a starting point the furniture also stays with the house. Remember resale value on furniture is very low so don't overvalue it as far as offsetting value to your ex.

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EFG123 · 27/03/2015 07:35

lovingfreedom That's really where I am now, I can't do anything more until I've got all the facts, I'm trying put a halt to the conversation.

I haven't started divorce proceedings yet either but have been clear that finances will be sorted as part of that process and not done informally. We've agreed maintenance as I need him to be paying something into the house.

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cozietoesie · 27/03/2015 11:22

I think you'll both receive a shock when the pensions information comes back - that's a serious biggie.

Good luck with it.

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EFG123 · 27/03/2015 12:34

I'm expecting his pension pot to be double mine, so yes a biggie.

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intlmanofmystery · 27/03/2015 13:48

You sound very reasonable which is nice to hear. The Courts are typically not bothered with the nitty-gritty detail of dividing CD/DVD collections etc and their priority will be providing suitable accommodation for the children. However your exH's needs will also be considered and he can argue for an equivalent property so that there is no obvious discrepancy between the two of you. I think the starting point will be that all the contents stay in the house however if you are willing to let exH take stuff of sentimental value then good for you.

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EFG123 · 27/03/2015 13:58

To be honest at some point in the fairly near future I want his stuff out of the house (clothes, gadgets, DVDs etc.) so I can have a good spring clean and get straight, he's taken very little so far and it's just strange having all his stuff still here.

My solicitor said that because he's setting up (I believe) with someone else this is considered when assets are divided, I'll be on my own running a home for me and the DC, while he'll have someone else contributing (presumably) to a deposit, mortgage etc.

I realise I'll have to have some contact with him for the rest of my life, and don't want that to be any more unpleasant than possible, however, there's a limit to how much I'm prepared to pay for that.

Nothing much more I can do until the pension information comes back, unless he pushes things in which case I'll start divorce proceedings.

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Boofy27 · 27/03/2015 14:25

Trying to keep your former husband happy and relations civil is a total waste of time and energy. His solicitor will be telling him the same as yours is telling you, ie that a 50/50 split is unlikely when there are children involved but he is still threatening to take away the sofa your kids sit on and the telly box they watch.

This man is contemptible, treat him as such.

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cozietoesie · 27/03/2015 14:27

I agree with getting rid of his stuff as soon as you can. Even if you have to be civil for the sake of the DCs as much as anything, the last thing you need is for him to keep turning up and asking to rummage around looking for 'that thingy that I'm sure I left in .........'

Are you at least in a position to box up his stuff and store it somewhere (or have a big pile in one room) so that you can proceed with spring cleaning/decorating etc in al other places ?

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Micah · 27/03/2015 14:33

Setting up home with someone else wasn't considered in dh's case. She was living with om, although denying items official. The courts knew though, as he was paying all her bills. Finances were still split according to her income, his contributions weren't taken into account.

It was the fact that dh was not homeless, he was living with his parents. Him being financially able to set up home again wasn't even considered, basically as the nrp as long as he wasn't homeless they reckoned he could just start again from nothing.

So your ex's costs to set himself up again, alone or with ow, may not be relevant either. What matters to the courts is your ability to house the dc, and they will rule so you can afford to stay in your home with them. He will be expected to sort himself out.

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EFG123 · 27/03/2015 15:07

cozietoesie That's my plan, I might have to put up with a pile of boxes for a while but at least most of the house will feel straight. I'm going to be the one going through drawers etc. not him, he doesn't live here anymore.

I don't think he would take furniture, it's bluster and I think he's concerned that he's not going to get much, doesn't want to have to start again from scratch, he thinks if he pushes and gets annoyed with me I'll agree to anything. Good to know how it's worked for others though so I can stop worrying about it.

It all helps me to detach emotionally, I really don't know this man.