dont know how much more i can take...

[peeapod]

since about september my ohs mental health has deterioated. Since january iv been living on edge not knowing whether what i say will trigger a bad reaction. When I say bad, i mean threatening me with the police social services, telling me hes going to kill himself, he gets caught up in a completely different reality to ours and gets paranoid angry and agresssive.

Hes not like that at all. Im trying really hard to get him some mental health help, but all they will do is put him on anti depressentants.

Im exhausted, im currently looking after our 9 month old pretty much on my own as well as the housework and other day to day stuff. when hes not on another reality hes barely in ours, staring at the computer all day, and barely functioning.

i dont know how much more i can take. im questioning whether this is abuse or mental illness. im questioning how much more i can take what else i can do. i just need some help and i dont know where to turn.

[tipsytrifle]

This sounds utterly terrifying. I don't think you and your child should be in this situation at all. What is this "different reality" he goes to?

Perhaps you should not wait much longer to leave. Is there anywhere you could go? I know he's the one who should leave and get help for his mind, but this is unlikely to happen. Do you rent? Is it joint tenancy?

If he is aggressive, have you talked with the police domestic violence team? He doesn't need to have hit you (yet) for their advice to be worth seeking out. You might also speak with Women's Aid. Takes awhile to get through but apparently they are excellent at helping to formulate practical plans.

[tipsytrifle]

I think it sounds like a mixture of both - MH and Abusive behaviour, interwoven for sure (to respond to your question). Is he on drugs? Or alcohol? In employment?

[peeapod]

not alchol or drugs. both of us dont work. i think that was part of the problem. i am training to be a teacher, but then i had to give that up a few weeks ago when he took off with our daughter and told me i was abusing him and he would make sure i would never see him or her again.

he snaps out of it after a while, but its more regular and very random. im on edge. im just trying to get some mental health help for him but i dont know if its enough or the right thing. im just thinking of our daughter..

[petalsandstars]

I wouldn't trust him with my child

[pocketsaviour]

"im just trying to get some mental health help for him but i dont know if its enough or the right thing. "

What have you tried so far?

When he's having a "clear" day/period, does he acknowledge that he has MH problems? Does he apologise? Or does he try to brush it off with "I'm just stressed" or deny it happened?

[tipsytrifle]

That taking off with your daughter is really really worrying. Any amount of damage can happen in mere seconds. I know that sounds a bit alarmist but I really don't think he is safe to be around with these sudden, unpredictable and extreme mood shifts and irrational decisions.

I agree that he needs help with his mental health but I think your and DD's safety should be paramount, in fact your ONLY thought, until you are safe.

I'm sorry you had to give up your training (for now). Maybe there could be a way back in with more support? I don't know what's available but others will have that info.