I read a lot on here about people about going NC and it being the best thing they've ever done, they feel much better, changed their life etc and I'm wondering why the hell I can't feel like that tbh!
My mother, stepfather and siblings (all 7 of them!) cut me off over a year ago now due to me bringing up my mother's abuse, favouritism and how she dealt with her divorce from my father who I had not had any contact with from the ages of 6 to 38. It was me going into therapy for severe anxiety and 'finding' my father again that sparked it all off. I was left out of several big family weddings and did not hear a word from anyone last Christmas and as I have 4 DC who noticed the lack of presents (ditto on their birthdays this year), this has been very hurtful.
I was also very ill and in hospital earlier this year which they all knew about but not one of them contacted me to check we were coping OK.
My mother is a witch and caused me massive damage to my self esteem when I was growing up including ignoring sexual abuse but I just cannot seem to accept that my DC are better off without her in their lives.
She was an OK grandmother, favouritism for her other GC aside until this kicked off but now has not seen my DC for 2 years. My youngest does not know her at all.
My real father is not interested either as he does not want to deal with the fallout from him leaving and is 'too old to open that can of worms'. FFS!
So with Christmas approaching again, how do I get a point where I just don't care and feel better for it? It is on my mind from the minute I wake up every day. I feel completely worthless. Especially since my younger sister told me in a text that the family has become much stronger and closer now I'm not in it. She also refused to meet me in case it upset our mother, that's how manipulative she is.
Tips on how to not give a shit appreciated!
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If you are NC with family and happy about it, how did you reach that point?
11 replies
UpInTheAirAgain · 20/11/2014 14:36
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