Have you ever dated a psychopath?

[ForNowIHaveATidyHouse]

And if so, what did they do/say? How did it end?

[tipsytrifle]

What do you mean by psychopath?
Do you think you are involved with one?

[Pandora37]

I'm not sure I'd call him a psychopath as such but he certainly has got some serious psychological issues in my opinion and is pretty fucked up in the head. To the outside world he appears charming, friendly and popular as psychopaths often do. Unsurprisingly, it ended very badly.

What makes you think you're involved with a psychopath?

[mooth]

Has this person been diagnosed as having a personality disorder of a psychopathic nature? I'd be wary of calling anyone a psychopath without knowing the details, history etc.

[DrCarolineTodd]

I'm sure my ex was one. Details would out me though.

[crazylady321]

Not sure would call him a psycopath but I had an ex who would stalk my house on a night for about 6 weeks after we split up, would drive past my work that sort of thing..Never any threats or violence but head fucked me during the relationship big time. Would txt and say he had been run over and god knows what else to try get me to go see him.. Found it a bit freaky but thats about it. He eventually found someone else and never heard anything else from him apart from bumping into him places

Why are you asking?

[DancingDinosaur]

Yes, quite possibly. Someone who stalked me for years after, threatened me and my family, called the police regularly with made up things that I had done, the list goes on... I had to move a long way away in the end to escape him. He still creeps into my nightmares occasionally.

[ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK]

I think yes although a professional I knew at the time told me she thought he was a sociopath.

Either way he was a dangerous person to be involved with and I think I'm lucky I managed to end things when I did or I wouldn't be here now.

[sykadelic]

Not all psychopaths are violent/dangerous people, but of course those are the kind you normally hear about and probably the kind you're talking about.

Here's an interesting article about a guy who found out he has the brain of a psychopath www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/03/how-i-discovered-i-have-the-brain-of-a-psychopath

[BadlyInNeedOfSomeHelp]

"Has this person been diagnosed as having a personality disorder of a psychopathic nature? I'd be wary of calling anyone a psychopath without knowing the details, history etc."

My Ex was a psychopath sure as eggs is eggs. No professional psychiatric diagnosis of course - but given that he caused a professional psychiatrist to diagnose me as autistic, which I am most certainly not, I'm not so sure a professional assessment is necessarily the gold standard.

[Humansatnav]

Not me, but a friend married and swiftly divorced a man who has since been diagnosed with a personality disorder.
I worked with him , and he was either charming or deeply chilling, depending on which approach would get you to do what he wanted.
I experienced both.
Another friend who was pregnant at the time was threatened with violence by him.
If you met him you would think he was an absolute sweetheart, until your actions did not benefit him.

[Voodoobooboo]

There is a theory that many great business and political leaders have psychopathic tendencies. I don't think it is a universal truth, but I have certainly worked with a couple who have given me pause for thought. Both were intensely driven, insane working and travelling schedules, unable to see any viewpoint but their own, trigger happy, didn't know when to stop, appreciated people around them but no idea how to show it or motivate them, etc. They were also both highly intelligent, charming, self made wealthy, spectacular negotiators and, interestingly, worshipped their wives. In both cases they would focus on nothing but themselves and their issues until you asked them for something then they would take your issue on as their own and being enormously helpful and supportive and give endless time to resolving your problem. The other curious commonality was insanely high self esteem on outside but huge self doubt on inside.

The interesting point is that one of their careers ended in huge failure when they started a ruck with someone that they couldn't beat (arguably a bigger version of themselves). The other is a work in progress that I watch with interest.

[mooth]

badly if you had a dearly loved member of your immediate family diagnosed with a mental illness, then taken from their parents into a secure hospital for nearly ten years from the age of eighteen, you might hold a different view about labels from diagnosis and the need to use these carefully.

[MrsLion]

Yes I believe I have.
I dated someone for 2.5 years when I was young. They were highly manipulative, controlling, vindictive, violent, jealous and selfish. All whilst maintaining an incredibly charming persona to everyone else, and often to me. He was extremely good looking, very clever and charismatic.
He literally saw and heard things that were just not true or even real.
Was very cunning and clever.
To be blunt, he completely fucked up my self esteem for a number of years.

It wasn't until about 4 years ago (10 years after I escaped) that I learned he'd had several psychotic episodes, spent time in prison for attacking someone with a knife, had a court order against him preventing him seeing ex wife and kids.
He was diagnosed with bi polar disorder combined with some kind of psychosis.
This is different I know, to the true clinical definition of a psychopath, but in my mind he is one.

Dating one is horrific and incredibly damaging.

You will never win, or change them. I ended my relationship and he told me I was a selfish bitch who would never find anyone else. Especially with my disgusting ugly fanny. (Yes really!) And if I did he would kill them. Then he told me if I didn't get back with him he'd kill himself and everyone would blame me.

I had gained enough self-esteem to tell him that was his choice and nothing to do with me. Of course he didn't. And it was the last time I ever spoke or heard from him.

[pinkfrocks]

I think it's very dangerous to label people unless you are a fully qualified psychiatrist and have conducted the necessary medical investigations with a person to diagnose them.

All these examples show is a range of personalities on a wide spectrum. Some people are just shits , and are clever at pretending to be otherwise, some of the time.

What is the point in a label except to give yourself some credibility for getting out of the relationship? genuine question.

[CariadsDarling]

Speaking from experience with regard to having a sociopathic person in my life a diagnosis can really help when you need to gather your thoughts and understand why was able to do the things they did. Its not an excuse by way of saying oh he didn't know what he was doing etc. Its a very good way of being able to get your head around the person will never change and a good predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Personally I could only start to move on when I truly grasped he can and does do the most horrible things because to him they are not horrible. He just has no bloody idea what so ever, he is not normal, you cannot expect normality form him.

[CariadsDarling]

Sorry for the errors up above. Im on my phone.

And just to pick up on something someone said - coming out the other side when you've been involved with one of these people is very hard if you think you are moving on from Joe Blogs. The truth is that you yourself are probably very damaged and that will have an impact on the kind of things you need to do to move on, and any help you will need in order to move on.

Moving on from being with a sociopath is not the same as moving on from someone who has Bastard Syndrome.