I hate being alive.

[Spaceboundeminem]

I have bipolar 1 I was manic last month now it looks like I am pg and I don't know who the father is.

I have one father threatening suicide if I dont terminate.
Dh who is going to get physically violent when I tell him.

Dh has spent all day picking on my weight (I am a size 14) saying I'll be dead before I'm 30. Trying to force me to exercise. Taking drinks of coke away from me. He has also used the words disgustingly obese.

I hate dh but I can't leave because I'm I'll and he has threatened to take the dc if I do. He will win as ss are involved because of how I'll i am.

I hate being alive I just want to slash my wrists. I am sat hiding in the bedroom crying.

I hear voices in my head telling me to end my life.

[MustTryDating]

Hi .. you say you might be of but it doesn't sound definite. It's good to be certain before figuring out what to do.
Who is supporting you with you Bp? Can you contact them now? You need someone to talk to as well as us :-).

It's important you get some RL help. Could you call the Samaritans?

[PinkSquash]

Speak to womens aid, I would bet your MH would improve away from these abusive men.

Speak to your crisis team, they can help you make plans.

[superstarheartbreaker]

Yes definitely get help. Women's aid are great. No wonder you are not in a great place... Your husband sounds awful. Try to get away from him.

[superstarheartbreaker]

Crisis team definitely.

[Hatespiders]

I think you might do well to ask for an emergency 'double' appointment with your GP. Explain that your symptoms are not under control and your medication may need adjusting. Then open up to him/her about this serious situation with your husband, your possible pregnancy, the domestic abuse you suffer (yes, it IS DA) and the suicidal thoughts, voices etc. My niece has the same illness, and suffers really bad episodes exactly the same as yours, so I do understand.

Please go for help my love, as this is very serious.

[tipsytrifle]

What Hatespiders said ... i totally agree with that. Do you have anyone you can call immediately, like now for talking help?

Getting some kind of stability back seems to be the priority before anything else can even be addressed in thought, never mind deed.

H sounds to be abusive and vile.

Women's Aid might be a good call to make because I think you probably need to get away from him asap. If ss are already involved do you have a case worker you can talk with?

[Spaceboundeminem]

Thanks all I am going to gp in the morning to discuss everything.

[tisnotme]

Well done Spacebound, I am proud of you x

[itsbetterthanabox]

Go to women's aid and ask for their help. Can you call your crisis team also regarding the bipolar?
You need to get away from both of these men and these services can help. Do not be bullied into a termination if it isn't what you want. If the man is threatening suicide then call the police and they can deal with him. It isn't your responsibility.
Is there anywhere you can stay tonight away from your husband?

[itsbetterthanabox]

He won't win custody. A violent, aggressive man won't be given the children. You can be supported with your mental health. They don't just take children away because of mental illness, you just need to access the right support. Be strong.

[Darkesteyes]

OP I echo what others here have said. call WA and the crisis team. Your h is a vile abuser.

[bellhopthewanderer]

Spacebound


Please take pps advice . I cannot advise on DP / DH but ........

Think , today is not the day you die . I have suffered from extreme depession and got through it . It is possible to do it. Take it from one who has been there , you can get through this . A hurricane blows itself out in the end .

You sound like you are doing the right thing = Do it. Keep putting one foot forward in front of the other.

If you would like to PM a person who has suffered badly from depression , please do . I have a happy and healthy teenager

Otherwise I wish you well and hope you get the help you need.

BH

[Spaceboundeminem]

Thanks all. I will try and sort some things today and see if I can sort out my finances enough to leave. I will also speak to my gp. He may refer me to crisis he usually does.

[Spaceboundeminem]

Update got a emergency appointment with psychiatrist tomorrow. I have been referred to epu for pg.

[FinnsMum19]

Well done for going to the GP x

[smallandimperfectlyformed]

Well done and good luck with the psychiatric appointment tomorrow

[tipsytrifle]

That's all good news, Space! Make sure and be totally upfront with psych - you're so lovely

[Spaceboundeminem]

Thanks all I will write everything down as I'm not got at talking about my problems.