HELP...Clueless and slightly new to OD, ladies with experience got tips please :)

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Hi all, Looking for tips on how to work this OD and avoid the creeps, guys just after sex, and men on the rebound while keeping hope that I will have a relationship.

What to avoid when chatting to men OD, Tips and Do's and Dont, spotting the bad eggs and fake profiles.

No Straight talking books on OD that I can find so maybe you ladies experience can be more helpful.

Has anyone survived OD with their confidence in tact and met the one?

Do some bored men just want to use up our time to text or What's app without committing to a date, How long should messaging go on before a date is set-up?

Been single a year and hanging about my local coffee shop once a week is not working out to be effective in catching a blokes eye or getting a date, OD since June and have settled on POF.

Since embarking on this lonely road of dating I am still clueless and keep tripping up on sex pests, men fresh out of break ups and a lot of time wasters.

Men I had to block on POF because they got creepy keep making new profiles just to be confrontational about my blocking them....so had to block them again :-/

Had dates with men still raw from break-ups, at the moment chatting to two guys who seem normal for now.

Is there a better way to get into a relationship for a busy mum?

Thanks :)

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Do some bored men just want to use up our time to text or What's app without committing to a date

yes! It's an ego boost for some

How long should messaging go on before a date is set-up?

Message until you feel comfortable to meet for a date. usually a week or 2. You don't want to build up a picture of what he's like from messaging and waste your time when in reality he's nothing like that

keep tripping up on sex pests, men fresh out of break ups and a lot of time wasters

I think this will happen no matter how 'expert' you are. Just block and move on - block again and report if they get too aggressive I've chatted to men who seem normal but as soon as I say I'm not interested after maybe something they've said, a couple have got nasty - they feel 'brave' because they are online.

Had dates with men still raw from break-ups

The hazard of OD!! I spent a date with a man being really nasty about his ex, I asked him to stop, he didn't, I left. Had another who kept asking my opinion on his ex and whether I thought they'd get back together

I have had lovely dates with someone I really have clicked with, a total gentleman, gorgeous, treats me well and we make each other laugh. They are out there! I've never been on POF but I have heard that it's a numbers game on there with a lot of players to sift through. I prefer paid sites.

Good luck though, OD should be fun

[LineRunner]

I would say that meeting someone in RL is key, and not depending on what's on the screen.

I met my OH through friends and not through OD, and I'm pretty sure if I saw his profile online I would have scrolled past it without stopping - which would gave been a massive mistake on my part I think.

[rookiemater]

I met my DH through OD although it was a few years ago now so things may have moved on a bit since then !

I would agree with the posts above - don't spend a lot of time emailing/phoning/messaging. A few times to establish you have something in common is good, but more than that and you risk getting emotionally involved with someone you have never met.

For first date - make it reasonably quick - coffee or drinks rather than a meal, having said that I did meet my DH over lunch although I had white lied him and said I was going to an exhibition with my friend in the afternoon, because he wanted to make a day of it.

This will sound hideously old-fashioned and you are going to laugh about it, but I preferred to let men contact me rather than the other way round. I had enough responses anyway without sifting through the whole database.

Funnily enough DH turned out to be a friend of a friend, so there was a chance that I might have met him anyway without OD, so don't shut off other avenues. Ask your DFs if they know anyone that you might like to meet - yes it does sound cringe worthy, but they may have an idea of what type of person may suit you.

Oh and no snap judgments. I enjoyed my first date with DH enormously, but was unsure if there was a spark. We went out for dinner on our second date, then he went abroad for a couple of weeks with work. Those couple of weeks gave me the time to think that actually yes he was rather nice and I would like to see him again, whereas had he been around I may have rejected him for being too straightforward, keen and generally not a complete waste of time like previous BFs.

[EllaFitzgerald]

It definitely can work. I'm happily married to the most amazing man I've ever met and I've got two very lovely and long term friendships from it.

However, I've also met some right Herbert's. You need to have a thick skin. For every lovely, honest person looking for a relationship, there are two dozen people who have no intention of meeting you, or of seeing you again after they've slept with you.

The very best advice I can give you is to not believe anything until it has happened. If someone you barely know is telling you that you're the most perfect woman in the world and they can see themselves falling in love and settling down with you, you have roughly about a week before they do a disappearing act and you'll never see or hear from them again!

[Mum4Fergus]

I've recently returned to OD after a break of 8yrs (during which I was in relationship with an OD and we had a son together). I'd suggest avoiding POF and maybe going for one of the paid sites if you can. Meet as quickly as you are comfortable with to avoid wasting time (I've 2 meet ups this week!). I tend to get a sense quite early in if they are serious or players,trust your instinct. Overall, it's a numbers game...chat to as many as you can handle to up chances of finding someone genuine and committed ... good luck!

[TapWellies]

If you are looking for a proper relationship, POF is usually not recommended. Be friendly, not flirty and no remotely iffy picture going either way.
No meeting at each other's homes at first and expect to pay your way on a date.

[KouignAmann]

I met my DP on POF and chatted for 2 months about his dating disasters before I could persuade him to meet me for a drink. We just had our housewarming and are engaged. He is the nicest man I ever met!!

The men I met through the paying sites were nothing but trouble.
It's mainly down to luck I think.

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Thanks all, very good advice. I have been stood up, DTD, and been played. Met some decent men but no chemistry. Having a thick skin is a must, which I am learning.