Which is the most likely to succeed?

[chatnicknamechat]

A relatinship with someone exciting, who makes you feel all wierd inside or with someone who isn't wildly exciting but will never hurt you and is totally reliable etc.

If you had not had much luck in the past, would you be willing to go with the safer bet and hope it grew into something great?

I hope you get the gist of what I'm trying to say, I'm not very good at discussing feelings and things.

[chatnicknamechat]

yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[nutcracker]

Erm don't know.

2nd one might be boring

[YeahBut]

Does the exciting someone have any major character flaws that make you think you should stay away?
Can you date both of them for a while until you're more sure of what you want?

[tiptoes]

The second one.You can always work on making it exciting.
Reliable everytime,especially if you have children.

[chatnicknamechat]

The exciting one doesn't exist, but the safe, reliable one does. He is an ex boyfriend that I have met up with again and I think he likes me but I'm not sure about taking things any further.

I've had too much experience with men who treat me badly, just wondering what it might be like to be treated nicely for a change. I don't want to lead him on and give him the wrong idea though.

[expatinscotland]

If your heart and mind aren't 100% w/the man, neither one will work.

Move on.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

The one that you work hardest at, usually.

[chatnicknamechat]

Do you have to go at it 100% though expat? Couldn't things just move along slowly and stronger feelings develop, or does that not really happen?

I do like him, he is a lovely bloke, I'm just not sure what to do now. Do I go out with him again and see if that helps me make my mind up? I don't want to use him though, although I am enjoying the emails and texts.

[expatinscotland]

Look, if you really had a good feeling about either one, you know, that kind of feeling, you wouldn't have needed to post this.

[chatnicknamechat]

Arrggghhhh, you're probably right. Shit, does that mean all the flirting has got to stop then? Back on the shelf for me then, looks like I will be there for the forseeable future.

[FluffyCharlotteCorday]

Totally agree with Expat. If you have to wonder, it's not worth doing.

[wartywarthog]

xbf's are x for a reason. this guy doesn't do it for you. find someone that has a bit more zing for you.

[chatnicknamechat]

I've been thinking about this over night and I'm really surprised that so many people think that you need the fireworks and everything for a relationship to work. I thought there may be some posters who had relationships based on friendship and respect, rather than all consuming passion.

[FluffyCharlotteCorday]

chatnicknamechat, I think you need some of both.

The fireworks passion etc., may decline after a bit, but you need the memory of them and the possibility of re-igniting them from time to time, to keep going. If they were never there in the first place, it's a bit bleak and you're more susceptible to Grass is Greener Syndrome imo.