kissing

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Ok some background first... I've been single for a couple of years, had a few FB / FWB type things in that time, haven't wanted a relationship as I've been travelling a lot for work so couldn't (and didn't want to) commit to anything.

Was out with friends a couple of weeks ago. We were all drinking, and were drunk but not steaming. My friend and his friend were going on to a club when everyone else was calling it a night and he asked me to come along with them. I was having a great time so I went. We had a few drinks together and then my friend disappeared leaving me with his friend. I'd met him before but we'd never really spoken beyond saying hello etc. Well we talked and talked about all kinds of random stuff, and ended up sat on a sofa in the club chatting and laughing for ages. I don't really remember how it came up but I'd said I don't really think of myself as being attractive or unattractive, just normal and well, me really. He responded with surprise.

Anyway, again I don't remember exactly how it happened but he kissed me, I responded and basically we kissed very passionately for some time. I think if we weren't in the middle of a club it would have gone further. TMI but I then suggested going for a dance and he Erm, needed a minute to relax.

A while later my friend reappeared and I got split up for them and decided to go home. Friends friend had my jacket so I text my friend the next day and asked him to get it for me. Instead he gave his friend my number so we could sort it out between us (after checking with me). Since then we've exchanged a few texts each day, mostly friendly and some mild flirting.

I'm really out of practise with this stuff now so feel too embarrassed to suggest meeting up or anything as I have no idea whether it was just the drink, the circumstances etc or if he did fancy me

What do you make of it?

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Oh and so as not to drip feed, my sexual experiences over the last couple of years have mostly been with women, as was my last relationship so it's been some time really since I've been in this situation .

And obviously should have also said that I really do fancy this guy!

[EBearhug]

Arrange to meet and get the jacket, and then see how you feel in the cold light of day. You're not asking him to marry you, but you might have some fun just seeing where it goes.

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

I've told him to just give it to my mate and I'll get it when I see him, no rush.

I suppose I could say I need it for something.

I've always found him attractive, but from a distance. We've often caught each other looking in the past and either looked away or indulged in a bit of eye contact, which has bizarrely turned me on at the time. I guess I felt a bit of a spark which led to us kissing. But I suppose it could have just been the drink for him.

[mustardtomango]

Think I might feel a bit let down if i was the guy and I liked you. I'd probably take your comment about just passing it on as not interested, and I would move on. If you're not interested that's all good, if you are you might be playing it a bit too cool

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Oh God I feel such a teenager over it all! We have another group night out in 2 weeks so maybe I'll ask him to bring it then in case I get cold. I'm just too scared to suggest meeting alone in case I've read it all wrong.

[ApplebyMennym]

He wouldn't have sat and chatted with you for ages, then kissed you, then exchanged flirty and friendly texts with you if he wasn't interested! A quick snog you could maybe put down to drunken behaviour, and if the texts were all sexts or trying to get you to talk dirty then he'd likely be out for one thing. But he sounds really nice, and genuinely interested!

I'd text him, tell him you need your jacket because another friend wants to borrow it or something, meet up in a nice coffee place and see how it goes.

Have fun!

[MissMarplesBloomers]

Yes suggest you meet up so you can buy him a drink to say thanks for the jacket. Have a good time & see how it goes!!

[holeinmyheart]

If you have kissed passionately and felt sexual desire, isn't that how it all starts? If they haven't tasted and smelt good during the first contact then that has been the end of it for me. So you have said in your post that you fancy him, that you always liked him from afar and that you spent ages kissing him passionately. So whats the problem? You have nothing to lose by being friendly and straightforward. He has shown his hand hasn't he ?

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

I'm so out of touch with dating and pulling!

I just assumed that it's pretty normal for people to get a bit drunk and do this without actually liking the other person!

[EBearhug]

If you don't actually like them, you shouldn't be doing it.

Actually, back when I used to drink (I very rarely do these days,) if I was a bit drunk, I'd probably be heartlessly, tactlessly blunt about why I didn't like them, rather than snogging them.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Oh FGS what's wrong with men these days?? Why isn't he asking YOU out?? Argh!! So frustrating.

So he still has your jacket..? Or did he give it to your friend?

[Trills]

Why should the man ask the woman out rather than the other way around?

I agree that if I were him I'd assume that "just give the jacket to our mutual friend" meant "I am very embarrassed about what happened and I do not want to see you again".

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Well bit of a non update really.

He still has my jacket. We've both been pretty busy the last week or so, and so have eased off texting. Our group night out has been postponed now for another 2 weeks.

During our text conversations we've said we fancy each other, both had a good night etc.

I think I've decided to ease off on texting him anyway. We both know where we stand and I don't want to seem too keen. We're both a little shy which probably doesn't help though!

[grumpasaur]

Aww bless he sounds a bit like my husband (before we got together).

You know he fancies you. Send the following text: "seems a shame to wait for life to settle down before I can get my jacket back (and see your lovely self again!)... Shall we grab a coffee and a catch up soon?"

[Doitforme]

If he really wanted to see you again I would have thought he would have done so by now. Maybe he is already in a relationship with someone else. Sounds like it.

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Yes I think he would have said so too.

I'll leave it and just see how things are when we're all out.

[Trills]

Sorry if this seems "too keen" - but if you fancy him and he fancies you why not arrange to meet up, even before your group night out happens?

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Ok so we've been texting all evening. To cut a long story short he's said he's not sure he can make our group night out, but doesn't wanna keep me waiting for my jacket so how about we meet up next weekend instead?
I'm working away so can't see him before that!

Even my response was crap. I'm such a twat! I basically said yeah I'm up for that, let me know closer to the time what he has in mind.

Seriously feel about 15!!!

[Doitforme]

But at least you feel better that he is the one who has suggested the meet up don't you? It shows he is interested otherwise he wouldn't have bothered and would have just given it to other friend to give to you. Play it cooool and don't instigate too many texts. Let him chase you. Makes you feel better.

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Yeah I feel a bit relieved I must say!

I did think he might like me, but consensus amongst friends is that beer goggles can come into play very easily and was a bit scared it was a case of that for him.

I might just suggest catching a movie and a few beers or something

[Doitforme]

or wait and see what ideas he has come up with for the meet.

[goldenhairbrushofwesteros]

Yes good idea. I'd just prefer something where there's no pressure if you get what I mean!