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Relationships

I can't talk to DH

5 replies

Karou · 12/05/2014 17:19

One of the things I fell in love with him for was that I felt I could talk to him about anything but things seem to have changed.

I think that he is depressed - he hates his job, we have had to tighten our purse strings and he is in pain and waiting for an operation. He also wants more sex but manages to turn me off with his bad temper most of the time

When I try to talk to him he is often sarcastic and normally negative, its very hard to continue the conversation after this - This is just one of his barriers to conversation. He is also quite likely to just turn on the news in the middle of a conversation or pick up his sudoku. Another tactic is to talk over the top of me or be unnecessarily unpleasant. It seems to me that the only safe topic is our DS who DH adores.

I guess that he may be looking for me to come up with a solution to his problems, he always fires solutions at me when I mention problems to him, but I hate his solutions and rarely implement them and I don't have any solutions to his unhappiness. I suppose that I could suggest to him that he may be depressed, I don't know how he would take it.

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knickernicker · 12/05/2014 17:23

How miserable for you. Would you be happier apart?

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Karou · 12/05/2014 17:26

Unfortunately I have been thinking that today but I do love him still and I don't want to end a marriage on communication problems, especially if it is just because he is depressed.

I feel that he need mediation just to have a chat at the moment

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/05/2014 17:26

He sounds like a bully, sorry. If he's depressed or in pain he should talk to his GP and get pain relief or other treatment in advance of his operation... not take it out on you. If he hates his job there are other jobs. If you've had to economise, it's a team thing. Still no reasons for unpleasant behaviour.

What are the problems you mention and what are the solutions you hate?

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Jan45 · 12/05/2014 17:29

So what if he's depressed, that doesn't mean he gets to talk to you like you're a piece of shit, tell him where to go OP, don't take that crap. Who would want sex with that???

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Karou · 12/05/2014 17:32

My problems tend to be work related we have similar qualifications but I love my job. The thing is he actually does like his job its some of his colleagues that he hates. We don't have the same workplace but he could do my job blindfolded so I occasionally want to talk over problems, he doesn't want to talk it over he just want to give me the solution.