I told DH I'd like to separate a few weeks back. We nearly split in the summer then thought we'd managed to sort things out but I feel like we're kind of back to square one and I'm not really sure I want to share my life with him.
Things aren't AWFUL, He's a lovely, lovely man, and a great father and I do still fancy him very occasionally...so I do wonder what the hell I'm thinking some of the time. I'm still very confused. We've had 3 rounds of couples counselling, and I've had counselling & CBT & ADs myself because I always assumed I was the problem- cos why wouldn't anyone be happy with someone like him?
Problem is, I feel loads better about myself now, and the better I feel about myself the less I want to stay with him, which is unfortunate.
Anyway, he was supposed to be staying away a couple of nights a week to give us some space but he couldn't bear being away from the kids, and I felt so bad for him, I've said he can stay all the time but in the spare room. We're both happy with this. However...
We were a little tipsy the other night and I confessed to having some fairly strong attractions to other men and he said he wouldn't mind if I had flings as long as he didn't know about it. YIKES. He would want the same freedom.
That's a bit strange, isn't it? Doesn't that mean he either doesn't think much of himself, or of me? Or, is that an option? Do people do that and manage it ok?
There is a certain appeal because I don't want to break up our family either, and not for the sake of a fling. But, because I'd don't really love him, isn't it best that we both have a chance at finding something better, and that long-term, for everyone's mental health some short term pain will be worth it? Or something.
Or maybe I should just be grateful for what I've got and stay with him.
Can someone tell me what to do please? I'm doing my own head in trying to work it out.
TIA.
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Relationships
slightly wierdy offer from DH, not sure whether to accept
picpoul · 14/01/2014 20:34
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