a good friend and I have been friends for years; met through shared interest in sport (so she is naturally competitive). Have had our kids at the same time.
We live in the same village and have no family nearby so meet a lot - at least weekly.
I'm naturally quite a modest person ie keep my achievements to myself - she is the reverse and it's never been an issue - until now.
Every time we meet I'm given an update on her kids' latest high achievements. It is in the nature of "johnny is sooo advanced he is having to be given special attention in football/singing/tiddlywinks" or "johnny why don't you say how clever you are and how far you swam/ran this week." Squirming child then mumbles something and I nod politely. I wouldn't have am issue with "oh I'm so proud of johnny as he managed x this week". I love her kids and care for them. It's more that the proclamations are very loud and usually preceded with the word "advanced".
Is this normal behaviour? It's getting more and more frequent to the extent I no longer look forward to our meets. To make matters worse, she is now commenting on perceived delays in my own kids (who are fine - normal lovely kids) but it makes me very uncomfortable.
I normally smile politely at the boasts. But now feel incredibly defensive when my kids are slighted and seeth.
Also I wonder if my kids wonder why I don't praise them publicly in the same way. They receive plenty of praise privately but I wouldn't dream of doing it my friend's way.
Sorry - this is rather long! Does this sound like normal parenting behaviour and if not, how do you deal with it? I suspect it's down to her insecurity and that has stopped me being bothered about it until recently when it's all the flipping time!
I want to maintain a good relationship with this woman.
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Advice for dealing with ultra competitive friend (re kids)
16 replies
oohdaddypig · 12/01/2014 15:45
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