Have an ongoing issue/argument with DP. Basically, a few times he has thrown out stuff that belongs to me or DC. Not amazingly important stuff - once a bag of toys I had put away for DD when she was a toddler as she had too many out at once. Once a ride on she never played with and cluttered house but I wanted to keep as from my parents and expensive. Also a wedding invitation and details which was a pain and most recently a load of papers - which included some of my medical records and a £50 voucher.
I've expressed my annoyance/upset to him every time. The last time I got properly angry, didn't yell but told him really seriously that I found it really disrespectful and hurtful that he showed so little regard for my things. I really thought he got it but today I went out while he was at work leaving some of DDs drawings on his desk. I wanted to put them on wall but couldn't find any blu tac. I come home to find them torn up in kitchen bin.
I was so angry and I told him that. His reason 'I thought they were waste paper'.
Now I feel at the end of my tether. He keeps apologising and seemingly understands but just goes and does it again. He values different stuff - is not sentimental like me. He doesn't think stuff through in detail is more of a doer. And most of the stuff he has thrown away was lying around a bit. But I don't accept this as a reason to bin stuff. I think if he loves and respects me and knows that him chucking stuff bothers me he could look at stuff when he picks it up and not bin it unless it is his! I feel like taking all the clothes he has lying arounfld house and pouring bleach on them but that would make me a hypocrite!
I don't want to leave him over this but I think I need to do something to show him I am serious. What should I do mumsnet? At the moment I feel disrespected and tense about putting anything down in my house. It can't go on like this.
How can I rebuild trust and be convinced he respects me? I don't know what to ask for. And I wonder if I have been too forgiving. I'm not a sulker and when he has said sorry before I accept it and carry on as usual.
Help me mumsnet!
Sorry it is long. TIA
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Relationships
Feeling disrespected what do I do now?
nowwhere · 27/07/2013 20:15
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