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Do you think I am boring

(63 Posts)
Dontspeak Sat 04-May-13 16:53:43

I am quite happy sitting in on a Saturday night watching tv but my oh feels it necessary to go out socialising fri, sat and sun night. When I say I don't fancy going anywhere he says I'm boring and we end up having a row. Then end up going out anyway.
He has been working today and now in the pub. If he has more than 3 pints he starts nit picking with me.
We are supposed to be going to a 50th birthday of someone he has recently met. They are all big drinkers, I don't drink at all and don't like my oh when he has had 2 much to drink.
I don't want to go.
We are both mid 40s. Am I being boring

Dontspeak Sun 05-May-13 23:12:39

I work from home but it is not regular income. We don't have joint accounts so actually I don't have access to money.
I have a credit card for groceries and petrol that he pays off.
We are not short of money.
He is jealous and insecure. I used to be outgoing. We have been together 22 years.
His moods are the biggest problem for me. I have told him. He is very negative.
I am walking on eggshells but like I said earlier it isn't consistent. Then I doubt myself

EvenBetter Sun 05-May-13 23:21:29

Head over to the Emotional Abuse thread to get your eyes opened. He is consistent in that he is consistently drunk, sulky, hostile, rude and disrespectful and then behaves in a barely civil manner (tea! Wow what a charmer). After 2decades of this drudgery you've normalised it and sadly so will your son sad

AnyFucker Sun 05-May-13 23:30:30

Your oh sounds like a nasty twat and you would do well to DTF

bestsonever Sun 05-May-13 23:34:26

22 years, how many more? Lots until you see the light. How may of these 22 years have you been waiting for him to change? There is no advice that will make him change, you can however, alter what you do about it.
You could start by doing what you want and ignore his reaction to it as you don't have to justify what you do, you don't have to force him to do things with you and you don't have to keep the piece by doing his thing -all choices you can make. Say nothing,silence can speak volumes, just do your own thing, takes two to argue. You don't have to play his game anymore.

Whatalotofpiffle Sun 05-May-13 23:38:45

My ex was like that and I am like you. Not boring at all and ex is now ex as I realised how actually fantastic I was! Ha ha

Dontspeak Mon 06-May-13 11:18:54

Thank you for the replies.

If I wasn't the one posting my reply would be the same. When you are living it you question everything.
Did it really happen like that?

LimitedEditionLady Mon 06-May-13 15:42:47

Do you think your husband is upset because he wants you to go as a couple?will people ask where you are if you dont go places with him?there have been times my oh wouldnt come places with me and you do get a lot of "wheres your oh?".had your anxiety stopped you going to these things before and he wishes you were there together? My oh gets really drunk when i dont go out with him buts its like he doesnt know what to do except be a bit ott on the drink and get mashed.perhaps he sees others out in couples and wishes his lady was with him?
Doesnt mean youre boring cos i like just having a meal and i dont drink but i still have fun.id just go along a bit more to things if you feel up to it but make sure you and him do things that you want to aswell and more times let it be something you want to do!

Lizzabadger Mon 06-May-13 16:05:14

He sounds like a nasty bully. I'd leave him, personally.

Chubfuddler Mon 06-May-13 16:52:14

hmm at "his lady".

Perhaps you should try putting a ribbon in your hair before he comes home op.

LimitedEditionLady Mon 06-May-13 18:26:18

What is wrong with people? So how is saying his lady bad? In fact dont tell me because its stupid.

cupcake78 Mon 06-May-13 18:38:38

Your not boring! Infact I would find you significantly more interesting than your 'I need a drink and others to have a good time' dh.

The older I get (35) I am beginning to lose respect for people who have the attitude of 'your boring if you don't drink yourself stupid' brigade. Personally I can think of nothing worse than going out and drinking every weekend. I haven't been drunk for the last 18 months out of choice because I don't like the person it turns me into or the after effects.

There is so much more to life than pubs and drinking.

LimitedEditionLady Mon 06-May-13 18:42:52

Do drunk people irritate you?i get really impatient with it.amd i also dont get why people want to spend so much money on a drink?and also are they really that thirsty?if they got a lemonade would they need ten lemonades?

Branleuse Mon 06-May-13 18:56:07

if he is bored of you, that doesnt make YOU boring. you have grown apart.
I would hate to socialise 3 nights a week. could potentially cope with one. Dont you find it boring that he pisses off out all the time?

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