As the thread states really..I am trying to get the strength to stand by my resolve of no contact with H.
Back story is..I have been posting about this since 2010..I. a nutshell..married 11 years back then..met h many years before..he was attractive and charismatic and I fell for his charm..HE told me his first wife had an affair..but for the first three years of oyr relationship..I had to remain a secret to his ex wife..he said this was because she was going to sign over her share of his house..and he didnt want to upset her..She used to go round and see him..I now realise how manipulative he was being..but didnt back then..he told me he didnt want to live with me..and I felt that he would never commit..I badgered him to move in and he did..we married in 1999 and I genuinely belueved he loved me..we went on to have children but I. 2004..I became very ill after giving birth..from that point on..nothing was the same..then I. 2005..I became seriously ill and he refused to get medical help for me and I almost died..we split up but I took him vack and thought we were happy but deep down..I coukdnt really love him the same..He stonewalled me a lot., was unsupportive about my illness..I just felt miserable..I threatened to leave and he became a wreck..sobbing and texting me morning noon and night..begging me not too go..I stayed and ended up expecting another baby..three months after she was born..he announced that he had fallen out of love with me and my world ended..he offered no explanation and refused to move out..leaving me to deal with the news..I posted about it at the time and it was suggested that he might be having an affair...I discovered that he had been avidly texting and calling a woma. He worked with., he denied an affair..and I stuck it out..then I asked him to leave.the. he came back..I the. Endured 18 months of hell while he treated me like dirt telling me he didnt love me., but denying an affair..Finally when his behaviour became abusive., I was helped to move last may by the domestic abuse unit...at first I was happy..but h continued to call round..and implied that he might still love me..after christmas he asked to try again., so we started dating..one day I surprised him by driving to his work...to pick him up..just him and her were still there..I sat I. The car park and ran him on his mobile..he answered sounding flustered.And said they were cashing up..its a garden centre., I realised then what was going on., did some more digging and the whole truth came out..he had been having an affair with her since he told me he didnt love me..They hadbeen exchanging secret cards and presents on birthdays etc..his phone bill showed that he texted her up to fifty times some evenings and he confessed to sending her intimate pictures of himself I. texts...their encou ters took place after work...he was never interested in me even before we split..now I knew why further talks have revealed he thinks hes I love with her and when I confronted her..she said he told her our marraige was dead.and that he loved me but he wasnt in love...he says he cant live without her but xant bear the thought of not having me I. His life..I realise now he is a manipulative liar and he probably wont eve. Commit to ow..but I need to cut him out of my life..because I realise that ahat he actually wants is us both..and Im better than that but right now..I feel bereft and utterly heartbroken..and I cant see a future without him...even though I know Im better off without him and I dont want him...
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Please hold my hand while I try to get this toxic man out of life..once and for all
18 replies
memorylapse · 25/04/2013 17:14
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