Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Toxic sibling i can't escape from

(26 Posts)
MmeButterfly Sat 20-Apr-13 16:48:35

So much to say on this topic that its hard to know where to begin. I need to get away from my sister but no matter how many different ways i do it there's so much pressure from my mum usually, to be at these ridiculous family get togethers etc., so i can never get away without becoming the villain. I'm somewhat used to this role but really all i want is a peaceful happy life for my family. Can anyone offer me some ideas??

AndTheBandPlayedOn Sat 20-Apr-13 21:02:48

It may be a difficult thing to understand/accomplish, but since you can not find relief through physical disconnection, perhaps you could emotionally disconnect.

It sounds like your care for your sister has been worn out (understatement, as I have also experienced with mine). Therefore, get out your "Don't Care Bear" wink and stop caring about her so much. Complete indifference is the -- holy grail-- goal.

Treat her like an acquaintance, be civil, never say anything personal or negative about her, or in her presence about anyone or anything else. Do not initiate conversation, but always respond simply and briefly: develop an art of one word answers.

The hardest thing will be to recognize, in the moment, when she is baiting you. And to not take the bait. Physical gestures can help here. Rolling eyes, shaking your head, walk away, or hold up your hand (as in speak to the hand 'cause no other part of me will be listening).

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now