Hi
decided to post after reading all the useful advice given. here is my story.
I found out 2½ weeks ago that my partner of 6 years had cheated on me. i actually received a letter from the OW's husband letting me know.
I confronted him, he didn't deny it. he broke down and said he has been trying for months to tell me he didn't love me anymore and can't stand the thought of sex with me! Said I pushed him away too much in bed and he got to the point where he thought 'that' part of our relationship was over.
Now bear in mind we have a 2 year old, i get up at 5.30am every morning to travel 35 miles to work (10 hour day), do ALL of the housework, cooking and shopping and take care off all financial stuff. I am also the highest earner in the house and cram full time hours into 4 days so i can have one day a week at home with my son. I admit i did used to push him away but because i was knackered not because i didn't love him.
I didn't kick him out (now realised i should have) and said i was prepared to forgive him so we can work on the relationship. I booked an appointment at Relate for us and we start this next week.
we are still sharing the same bed but communication is functional at best.
He nows acts like nothing has changed. He says that the only thought he has is no longer living with his son, can't think about anything else. Cannot think about a relationship with me as he is terrified of losing his son.
I have told him that i would never stop him seeing his son. He seems to think we can still live in the same house and bring up our son together but not be in a relationship. I told him i wouldn't accept that.
He feels i am holding a gun to his head - making him rekindle his relationship with me or losing daily time with his son.
he has now started threatening to get custody of our son and asking me to move out. We are not married.
I now look at him and don't really want to re-kindle the relationship. I think it's too late but I don't know what to do. I want to move with my son back to my home town where i work.
I can afford to support us both. He can't afford to support himself never mind his son too.
He smokes weed every night and his temper scares me. He has never been physically abusive but he has been verbally abusive over the last few years.
I am not very good at confrontation. I try to talk to him sensibly about our options but he just gets nasty. I guess the conselling will help there.
We kind of agreed to let time pass before we decided anything but I don't know anymore.
Any advice please!
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What should my next step be?
13 replies
notsurewhattodo23 · 07/03/2013 15:12
OP posts:
OldBagWantsNewBag ·
07/03/2013 15:44
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