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Really fucking angry with DH!!!!!!!!!!

(68 Posts)
NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:17:26

DH is under a lot of stress at work at the moment and has taken it out on DD (7) twice this week.... First time he really told her off for putting a bit of the soap in a cup to make a perfume while in the bath, he said he had told her not to touch teh soap as a year ago she put it all over the bath... We had a row about how he'd spoken to her.

Now this evening DD and DS (4) where in bed reading for half an hour before lights out. They both needed the loo so came into teh bathroom where I was having a bath, after they'd been they had a little chat with me and were being really sweet, DH came up the stairs and went mad because they were making noise and he's told them to be quiet... He made DD cry... He then swore (saying get into fucking bed), I told him not to swear and to stop swearing, he called me a stupid woman, I then said again not to speak to me like that and he said "I'll speak to you however I want to speak to you".... I am fucking FURIOUS....

i would be too. how to make life unpleasant...

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:24:21

I just feel shaky and sick, I actually feel like leaving him

Gigondas Sun 03-Mar-13 20:25:23

Being stressed isn't a license to be a cunt and bully your family z. I am not surprised you are upset.

ErikNorseman Sun 03-Mar-13 20:25:31

I would be furious too. How dare he bully his children and disrespect you in that way? He sounds like a right joy-sucker.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:28:33

Disgusting behavior - he had better be contrite about this and mortified and embarrased. I have been stressed +++ at work recently and i am ashamed to say i have had zero patience with DD (7) and have been a cunt on a stick to my DP. But i recognise this and have taken steps (seen my Dr for one thing) to try and put this right - told my DP i am so sorry etc. If your DH cannot do this then I would not blame you if you DID leave.

Fleecyslippers Sun 03-Mar-13 20:29:16

No don't leave but tell him to pack a bag and go and sleep under his desk or in his van. You can guarantee that he won't be telling his boss to sit on the fucking chair tomorrow. Or telling his secretary that he'll speak to her however he wants to speak to her/him.

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:30:27

He has real issues with apologising and/or admitting he was wrong. Practically I don't think we could leave and I don't think I could ask him to either but I really fucking wish I could at the moment!

pinkpaws Sun 03-Mar-13 20:31:11

Have been here myself as hard as it is i have found not getting into it right there and then helps. Give it some time an hour or so and then say you need to talk about it . Calmly explain how upset he is making everyone and ask him what is REALLY wrong . I know this is hard when all you want to do is pack his bag for him but trust me in the long term it works and he must at some point say he is sorry to the children very important .

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:35:41

He has stormed off upstairs to the bedroom, as if I'm the one being unreasonable, I feel like going up there and telling him he's a cunt blush

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:37:56

excellent post pinkpaws and yes, he must apologise to the kids and make sure this doesn't happen again. You could talk about strategies to ensure that if things are getting too much (my DD really pushes my buttons when i am stressed blush) even if he just goes for a walk.

CognitiveOverload Sun 03-Mar-13 20:38:15

Hes acting like a child... I really wouldn't stand for it.

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:38:47

I could understand if they were being naughty but they were being lovely, just telling me how happy they were sad

CognitiveOverload Sun 03-Mar-13 20:39:14

Is this a one-off?

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:39:52

Maybe he is embarrased - could you swallow your pride, make him a cup of tea (i know i know!) and tell him that this HAS to be discussed.

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:43:13

He goes through bad tempered/moody phases, usually every 6 months or so and last for about a week, life gets really difficult then he's fine again,

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:45:10

Is there a reason for this? Does he have appraisals at work at those times?

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:45:21

I'm sick of having to be the one who tries to make up, or if I want to discuss it he somehow manipulates it to try and make it seem like it was me in the wrong, or it just fizzles out and we start talking again and it's not discussed again.

CognitiveOverload Sun 03-Mar-13 20:45:30

Maybe tea and discussion called for when he has calmed down. Not good though...

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:46:48

He owes DC and I an apology, I'm fucking sick of him.

QuickLookBusy Sun 03-Mar-13 20:47:08

I agree with talking to him calmly. If he's fine the vast majority of the time I'd want to know exactly what is making him behave in such an awful way.

LittleEdie Sun 03-Mar-13 20:47:37

Why would it be difficult to leave?

NaughtyBetty Sun 03-Mar-13 20:48:57

I couldn't afford to leave, I'm a sahm.

QuickLookBusy Sun 03-Mar-13 20:49:00

Yes he does need to talk and apologise for his behaviour. The dc cannot grow up thinking its normal to just shout and swear at peoplesad

Does he want his dc to behave like this when they are older?

CognitiveOverload Sun 03-Mar-13 20:49:16

He has to try to communicate more. We all make mistakes but in order to stop repeating them he needs to figure out why he does it and what he can do as an alternative to taking it out on the kids.

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