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How many of you have to instigate sex?

9 replies

SelfishShellfishy · 06/02/2013 13:32

Despite only been together for 7 months, the last time we had sex was 2 sundays ago. He used to always be up for it but now I ALWAYS have to instigate it. I try kissing him when we go to bed and he kisses me back and then moves his head away so I can't carry on kissing him!! or he hugs me in a way that says "night night then" - sometimes he simply says "good night" - in other words, don't even bother trying!

Last night we went to bed, we were hugging and I kissed him, he kissed me back and then moved his head away from me. I turned around so my back was facing him and for a brief moment he touched my boobs and moved closer, without going into too much detail I made it OBVIOUS he could go further but he stopped and went to sleep.

I really miss having someone wanting me, feeling someone kiss the back of my neck in bed etc. I get none of that. I mean, ok if we'd been married for 20 years maybe that stuff would have faded out but after 7 months???

OP posts:

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/02/2013 13:34

If he's not interested any more, I wouldn't put too much effort into it but simply think it had run its course. Time for the old heave-ho.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/02/2013 13:35

... should have added. You're both reasonably young, fit, able-bodied etc?

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foofooyeah · 06/02/2013 13:37

I wouldnt be happy with this - a frined of mine broke off a relationship because of this type of behavoir - have you tried talking to him? I have not been so keen recently just because I am tried and stressed.

After 7 months though if its an effort already for him Im not sure I would bother - unless he was fanulous in every other way

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foofooyeah · 06/02/2013 13:37

fanulous ???? should of course be fabulous

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DragonMamma · 06/02/2013 13:39

It's a bit soon to be going off sex IMO - 7 months in should still be the honeymoon period and not you wondering what the hell is going on.

FWIW, I never have to instigate sex - DH always does. It's not because I don't want it, but because I'm knackered looking after 2 kids all day. This has given me food for thought, maybe I should instigate more often.

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Dryjuice25 · 06/02/2013 13:44

Maybe he just has a low mobido?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/02/2013 13:47

Saw your other thread about his semi-permanent bouts of illness. You wouldn't be in the medical profession would you?

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Mumofjz · 06/02/2013 13:48

i don't instigate it that often but i would say i probably let him know i'm "open to advances" should he so wish ie: touches here and there throughout the day/evening, blatantly telling him i want him etc

speak with him, it's good to talk - lack of it is what usually cause realtionship breakdowns