Dh has some family memebers coming from abroad for xmas staying at his DP. For this reason - he will be going to his DP brielfy on box day and again for longer for a meal another night after xmas day.
The reason is - I do not go to his DP they have been so horrid to me over the years - culminating in his DM vrebally attacking me days after my DD was born and after I was bereaved of a very close loss....Things were never the same, I havant been to thier house in five years - altough there have been many occasions when we have extended the olive branch to them....DFIL makes " verbal" effort but its quite clear he dislikes me and DH very obvisouly - and DMIL doesnt make any effort at all with me. If they seen DH briefly they are more likely to be nice to him - but its blatently obvious they favour DSIL and she is obnoxious and horrid....
They are european so xmas eve is thier main night - in the past DH has taken DD to thiers for xmas eve - purely for his grannys sake - as she doesnt see DD often being abroad. Anyway on that occasion - it ruied our xmas day - I had spent months getting little bits and peices and was soo excited as her first xmas to enjoy it - but because she had essensially had xmas at PILS on xmas eve - come xmas day - she was saturated and I was heart broken.
We explained the following year WHY dh wouldnt be going on xmas eve - they didnt respond with any apologies for our xmas being ruined with DD merely " how do you cope with the meal AND opening presents on xmas day - the X tend to open presents the day before so they can concentrate on lunch the next day"!!!!
ie - why arnt you following MILS idea of xmas - instead of the classic - uk - open presents xmas morning WHEN FATHER CHRISTMAS HAS BROUGHT THEM!!!!!
anyway - in past - when other relis have been visiting etc - or on other occasions when DH refuses to do what they want - they dont just leave it - FIL tries to BOMBARD US - it makes me shake....as he has knocked on the door unexpecedly - so i feel like we are under attack as cant open door freely etc...he is a very very cold robotic man who will do anyting for MIL with no regard to common sense or his relationship with his son etc etc etc....DH has tried to avert this bombardment by already informing when he will be gong over with DD - but FIL has come back - " no mention of xmas eve!!!" ( DH will be working anyway).
I am now braced for the usual - phone calls - texts - emails which DH will probably ignore - as FIL wont take any other answer except what he wants - and then possibly be knocking on our door..
any ideas of how to cope!
I also have other stresses on me at the moment - and really really dont want this bloody hassle over xmas. FIl chills be to the bone - with his robotic likeness - you can never ever ever win in an arugment with him....and every year this hangs over our xmas.
In al lhonesty i think they are all bloody lukcy DD goes there at all - ( dd used to go to pils on regular basis but have cut that right back due to mils obsessive cleaning and I dont want her exposed to an environment that has sent my DH iunto major depression when lived there and has distbured me!)
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Coping strategies/words of wisdom needed
12 replies
elizaregina · 22/12/2012 09:25
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