History is toxic family with narcissistic mother at helm. Sick sister firmly aligned with mother in her game of favourites and outcasts.
I have low level contact with both, bit more with mother, occasional emails with sister. We live in different cities. She travels to city where I live regularly but makes a point of not visiting ie emailing to say she will be in town but will be too busy with friends/work/other family etc to see me.
I travel to her city less frequently, always try for a (brief) catch up. Right or wrong, it's just how we are.
Since sister's diagnosis I have tried to be supportive by sending cards/little gifts/money (she had to quit work)/emails and the occasional phone call. Phone calls are difficult as she is v awkward/always says she is busy/going out even if I arrange a time to phone.
Asked if I could visit, she said yes, she wasn't going anywhere. Travelled with another sib, each of us with DC and staying in hotel.
When we arrived she sneered at me saying,"What are you wearing that for?"
I said, "I thought it was nice" and she said, "hmm"
Next I said "hi, good to see you (lie)" and handed her a gift. She threw it on the floor.
She flung some more insults after which I decided to busy myself with housework etc as she can no longer walk.
She was perfectly nice to my brother and sister who were there too, and quite lovely to the children. Kids played together.
After several hours we left. My brother wanted to see her next day and I said I'd look after dc so he could have a good catch up. I did not mention sister being horrible to me and quite honestly doubt he noticed as it is a normal carry on in the family.
I feel as though I have seen her for the last time and almost looking forward to her death so this complex stuff can pass.
half wondering if my feelings will change or if when she has died i will regret not trying harder.
When Dad died I felt sad for the father-daughter relationship I'd never had. i don't miss him at all. I miss my therapist, who died suddenly, way more.
Can anyone tell me what to expect? Thank you reading as is v long
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Relationships
Went to visit dying sister and she was a bitch
imaginethat · 24/11/2012 19:52
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