Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DH just threatened to smack DD (7) in the face

(135 Posts)
Orkling Thu 22-Nov-12 08:54:52

DH and I have 3 DC (2,4 & 7). DH is usually a great Dad but he does have a short fuse in that he will lose his temper and shout easily, he has never hit any of our DC. I am a bit calmer although I will give a smack on the bum occasionally, although not hard.

This morning DH was in a rush and foul mood (as he has been for ages) he asked DD to put her coat on, she asked where it was, he said right in front of you, open your eyes, she said they are open. He then told her not to be so fucking cheeky or he would smack her in the face!!!!! I am FURIOUS....

His foul moods have been affecting everyone, sometimes he is great but more often than not he is just moody and grumpy. I know I am not perfect and I do have mood swings but I think this is more to do with living with him.

AlphaBeta82 Fri 23-Nov-12 10:55:59

Unfortunately by being ok with one sort of smacking makes it difficult as others have said to draw a line a bit further down the continuum. Personally violence of any sort against a child is as far as I am concerned not a good form of punishment or supporting their development.
I have to say DH swearing or threatening my child in that manner would be a deal breaker for me.
I don't think you are unreasonable to be annoyed at all, but I think may be you both need to sit down and discuss boundaries over what you think is right and worng for your children.

Orkling Fri 23-Nov-12 12:25:30

I think relate or some kind of counseling would be a way forward, either on his own or us as a couple. He is really against it but at a push may come along...

InNeedOfBrandy Fri 23-Nov-12 16:06:24

Please find some sort of parenting class. Naughty step IMO isn't effective but consequences of actions are. Even if you bought a book like how to talk so kids will listen www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-Child/dp/1853407054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353686496&sr=8-1
and work through the book would benefit and it's a very relaxed sort of approach but lots and lots of common sense.

catstail Fri 23-Nov-12 19:36:07

OP, I dont know what is wrong with people on this thread today, apart from ANYTHING ELSE, smacking your kids on the bum is perfectly legal in England whereas smacking the face is a CRIME.

I'm not sure why anyone would be so obtuse as to not see the difference frankly

InNeedOfBrandy Fri 23-Nov-12 19:39:01

I don't see how anyone could be so OBTUSE to see an actual smack is different then a threat. And you cannot smack your dc bum in anger/fustration that is illegal, it's not just as simple as you can or can't.

olgaga Fri 23-Nov-12 19:48:01

I think you've had a hard time on here OP. Your husband sounds rather jealous of your little girl, and his attitude - this being annoyed at you and her, feeling that he's being taken for granted - is worryingly childish of him.

I think you both need to find a parenting class. Try your local authority website, or local SureStart/HomeStart.

catstail Fri 23-Nov-12 19:52:32

brandy, of course a threat and a deed are not the same, my post is clearly in response to all the posters clamouring that it doesn't matter where a child is hit because it's all the same

YummyHoney Fri 23-Nov-12 19:56:55

I think you should get off MN and be a hands-on parent.

Pocketmonster Sat 24-Nov-12 16:37:33

That's right Yummy - because using Mumsnet means you can't be a hands on parent. hmm

Jeez.

YummyHoney Mon 26-Nov-12 11:25:32

Absolutely! There are countless women who spend hours on MN instead of looking after their DC - which is why such a lot of them are asking for advice about sick children.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now