new to MN.... need advise & losing my mind :(

[PainForLife]

a bit of background.....
got a 2 yr old been living with my parents since she was born as unable to care for myself or her on my own due to disability.

parents & hubby been arguing recently about the whole living situation as I feel I ave now outstayed my welcome.... parents feel hubby not supportive enough & hubby scarred to take me home as he knows I cnt cope on my own.

I suffer from depression & low mood which previously got so bad I wanted to end it all & well I was lucky to come out of it as hubby got to me in time. I made em promise not to tell any1 as I didn't want every1 panicking.

I know dat is y hubby is more against d idea he's scarred I'll so it again & well d way I'm feeling right now he ain't dat wrong. so I thought if I mayb write it down I myt just feel better or get some unbiased advise or I dunno y I'm on here actually I'm just.feeling crap

[Flimflammery]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I suggest you post this same message again in the 'Mental health' topic, then hopefully you'll get some helpful replies.

[flowerflo]

Hi, sorry you are feeling like this. Do you mind if i ask a couple of questions to find our more? Is your husband living with you and your parents? Do you have a physical disability too, or is it your mental health that makes it hard to cope on your own? Are you getting any other support aside from your husband and parents?

[PainForLife]

thanks flimflammery I will re-post.

[PainForLife]

flower - it's both physical/mental. no help from any1 tbh I'm not comfortable with showing my body to any1 so my hubby helps me with showering & dressing.

no my husband doesn't live with us he visits everyday though.

[flowerflo]

Aww sounds hard. I really feel for you. I have a physical disability and a baby so I can empathise (I also work in mental health!). I bet you're a great mum though, being a parent is about more than how well your body works.I know it's hard to let other people help but if you referred yourself to social services you might be eligible for direct payments to buy in your own care. I saw the OT from social services to get some equipment to help me cope at home. You could also speak to your local sure start centre or health visitor. Mine have been fairly helpful. Do you get out much and spend time with your child and other mums? I was really reluctant to do this as I felt embarrassed asking for help with the baby but actually it's been great and I've realised I'm not so different to other mums. It might be that a support worker could help you get there and help with your child. The support workers at my sure start recognise me now and know I can't pick up my baby so will come and help me.

With regards to your mental health, do you see mental health team or take any medication?

What do you want ultimately? Do you prefer living with your parents or would you rather go home? Does your husband do enough and are you both communicating about your wants, needs and fears? Would it be possible to spend more time at home but that your parents come there to help you instead?

Sorry lots of questions, you don't have to answer them all but they might make you think about what you want/need. I'm a great believer that there is always a solution for every problem and I wonder if there was a way of changing things to make you feel more in control, then you might feel less depressed. When you have a disability you often have to be your own advocate and fight for what you need. The disabled parents network has some useful leaflets so it might be worth contacting them.