can't stop obbsessing about him

[loganberry12]

Split with my husband 4 months.but can't let it go my head is feeled with him 24 7 what he's doing who he's he's with.feel so angry one minute and sad the next I've become obsessed.

[learningaswego]

what happened to split you guys up? Was it mutual? Is there no way you can talk to him objectively about these things?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I'd say that was normal... assuming the split wasn't your idea. Four months is relatively raw. That 'full head' feeling does go away eventually and the trick is keeping yourself fully occupied in the meantime. Get your diary out and fill it up. The less down time you give yourself, the less you'll think about him.

[loganberry12]

He left he won't talk he says its over . i have a long thread on here he's been seeing a complete bastard so don't know why i can't let go

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

You're still in shock, knocked for six and all you can think is 'why?'. If you'd had any other major shock in your life would you expect to just 'let it go'? No. This is a grieving process very similar to a bereavement with the added problem that the person is not dead but choosing to be elsewhere. It's intensely frustrating but there is very little you can do about him any more. He isn't going to explain what happened and, even if he does, it won't stop the questions.

You can do something about yourself which is, as I said earlier, keeping busy and not giving yourself too many opportunities to dwell on the past.

[Twiggy71]

Just wanted to say that it is still very early days for you and you need to look after yourself as you are grieving for a lost future and dreams..

Things will get easier as time goes on when I split with my exh I even thought it would have been easier if he had died as you constantly go over and over what has happened how you could of maybe changed things etc etc.. If he had died at least you could of let all that anguish and soul searching go.

What I found helpful sometimes was writing it all down and how I felt about things.. Then every so often I would look back and be amazed at how much I have moved on...

Three and a half years later i realise some part of me still loves my exh (even though he was EA) but I know now that the split was for the best and that we are better apart and I am so much happier being single..

[Twiggy71]

All the best for your future there are happy days ahead for U...x

[loganberry12]

thinking about him a lot today trying to keep busy so i dont contact him. feeling sad it all come to this :(

[mopbucket]

Im in that place too ive come on here for something to do as im afraid i will contact him, cant do anything with thinking about him, was thinking after my holiday i would get a pet to focus on