BF's Idiot DH - What to say?

[Rodeo]

My best friend's coming round tomorrow night for a girly night in because she's been having a tough time recently....

her dh has told her he doesn't love her anymore. They have a 2yr ds and a 10wk dd he say's he doesn't know whether to leave her or not, say's he needs 'his own space', spends money on himself like it's going out of fashion, goes out with 'mates' alot drinking Champagne and snorting coke. She is also suffering from PND (unsurprisingly)

She's obviously devastated and I know we'll be talking about it at length tomorrow, I don't want to be unsensitive but I think he's a turd, and feel she and the children would be better off without him. I know he's the father of her children and obviously thats important....

well basically I would like some advice on what to say to her. I don't let her know my feelings on it as I don't want to upset her, I'd have hoped she'd have figured out for herself by now

I'm fed up of seeing my BF unhappy when she should be so happy, her new baby is so gorgeous.

Urgh, just thought of something else which really upset me about it last week.....her new little dd shares their bed and one night she wiggled over to his side and he pushed her with force back over to bf's side swearing at the baby

He is a c**t

[hermykne]

rodeo she dont need someone like that in her life.
has she family supporting her, i know u are but during daytime or when he is out

i think she'll be in a fragile state of mind if her 2nd baby is so small, she had pnd and has an older child to mind, you'll have to coax it out of her or perhaps recommend talking to he hv and doc

[doormat]

rodeo just be there for her as you are and just listen and offer as much support as you can
hugs to your mate as he sounds a right wankstain
xxx

[Tortington]

she scared ( ofcourse) of being on her own with two children. she needs to get information to know where she stands she ( maybe with your help on the internet) should try and figure out what benefits she would be entitled to, the housing situation, child support etc. so she is aware of the facts

this ofcoure wont help with the emotional but sitting there blubbing about it will just land her in shit street.

she needs to put on an appearance of a backbone ( even if shes jelly) and tell him " fine, fuck off then, ive worked it out, with 2 children i am entitled too £xxx.xx, will be entitles to xxxx benefits and really financially i wont be that worse off, besided you will have to have the kids every other weekend - give me a chance to go out and get shit faced with my best friend. theres a bar opened in town i want to go to anyway.

that way hes going to either think - right then fck it am off - or hold o a minute, you mean i'm not needed and wanted OMG she may shag someone else - can i deal with that.


at the moment he prolly has post baby blues too, lifes hard and he wants out ( surprise surprise) does he want out if it means SHE will actually get a life ( or pretend to?)

[Rodeo]

Agree with everything you said there Custardo, thanks for your input, I've taken all on board. You sound very much like another close friend of mine

Doormat - wankstain, that's great, must remember to use that word tomorrow

[SorenLorensen]

She probably can't see it but she's had all he has to offer already - two beautiful kids. Afaiac, he's redundant now...wankstain, I like that.