Protecting Your Adult Children

[Mother2many]

I have 2 younger sisters. Middle sister is in a verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive relationship. We thought she was leaving him for sure, and helped her move in to my son's basement. 4 Days later she went back. Left 60% of her stuff. Wks later she walks in an immediately says to my DS20 son, "I hope that money is still here"... My DS20 said, why would she walk in and say that??

Middle sister has now accused my son of stealing her childs money... all $800 of it! I carried that bag in...full of rolled money. My nephew took the bag and said, "I'm gonna hide this"...

If it was indeed filled with that much money in coins, there is no way I/we could of lifted it!!!

When she moved out she had a MILLION reasons why...house was falling apart, cats were bothering her, roof was leaking, etc.etc.etc. She insulted everything and anything.... (excuses, excuses)

My mother contacts my son and trashes him. My son, is shocked. He said, "mom, I have done nothing wrong to either of them!"

Recently we had a birthday party for my DS22. His g/f approached me about what to do with my sis/dear gma. I said, No. My DS20 doesn't need them showing up and making a scene, as that is exactly what they would do. We did have a great party for him. (held a few days after bday) Next day sis. text my son and wishes him a happy bday, and hope he had fun. Sad to see my DS22 put on spot. How did she she know? Well, my youngest sister was invited, but didn't show up ....that is how. As my youngest sis. is closest to my middle sis. DS22 and g/f came to the conclusion, if dear Aunt wanted to really wish him a heartfelt birthday it would of been on his birthday...not conveniently the day AFTER party...

Such family drama. It hurts to see my own children have to deal with my messed up sister/mom. I have recently stopped all contact with them. I guess they have to learn on their own.

I said to my DS20 he will never, ever out live the accusations. As is he drove my mom's jeep once and it broke down. She blamed him. Meanwhile her jeep was sooooo old....

As for the money... My sister already admitted to me a long while ago, she "dipped" into her son's money, and even worried our mother stole from this bag. I asked her if she counted it back then and she didn't.

Where's the money???? My 2 thoughts..

1. Her abusive partner secretively took the money, so then she would disown her family and then he can alienate her better.

2. My sister took the money in the first place for her alcohol/coke usuage and needed someone to blame so her son wasn't mad at her.

I have to sit back and protect my children. I will stand by them, and believe in them.... even if it's protecting them from family.

I texted my youngest sister and asked why she didn't show up... No response. I said, if you can run to middle sister at the drop of the hat for every drama issue in her life, why can't you show up to say happy birthday to your nephew?

No response...

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Your son will outlive the accusations now that you're all giving your sister and mother a wide berth. The money probably never existed. People with a coke/alcohol problem will often make things up. As for other members of the family taking sides my approach is to be true to yourself, look out for your own, get on with your life and, if they want to apologise, they know where you are.

[Mother2many]

:) Thanks Cogito.... my mother will through accusations up from years, and years ago... "remember when?".... usually mean too...

Yes, I'm doing good... I can't say I'd believe and apology....

Oh, well! Thanks for listening!