Dating - internet good and bad.

[Leedsboy]

Hi all, easy question. I am 40 (don't drive a Volvo yet but can't be bothered with clubbing when most people are nearly half my age) although I look younger. I have been separated from my wife and baby for 18 months with a divorce in the process. We last had happy relations nearly three years ago so it has been a while.
Feel like dating again but not sure where to go - not into 'intimate relations' with a twentysomething trainee model but don't want to jump into anything serious just yet. Just dip my toe into the murky waters of middle aged (gulp) divorced dating.
Have heard about POF - nothing good I have to say!
In your experience are there good websites to see and some to avoid? Live in Cornwall so choice is not as good as big cities although it's a better lifestyle down here.

[BeamMysterious]

I've never hear anything good about any of the free internet dating sites, although to be fair, I haven't dipped my toe into their murky waters personally.

A subscription site like Match.com or similar might be better, you're not as likely to get scammed. I'm not sure of the exact statistics, but I read an article recently about POF and a large percentage of the profiles are not genuine.

Google romance scams for the gory details

Or what about Guardian Soulmates? Like old school lonelyhearts but better?

[juniper904]

I met my boyfriend on Okcupid.com, which is free. I was looking for someone to chat with online, and was still meeting and open to dating people in real life too, but we met up and got on, so stayed together. We're still together 3 1/2 years later, and now living together with two fluffy cats.

Personally, I think a lot of paid sites are a con- to message people, you have to be a member, and they can't reply unless they are a member. It limits things.

I also had my profile deleted my match.com because I was being too flippant with my responses, apparently

[Allboxedin]

I met my husband through a christian one, even though neither of us were really christian at the time. Still with him and our 2 children 4 years later ;0

[Allboxedin]

I would say forget all the stuff you wish you could write about yourself. Be totally honest and upfront and eventually someone will like what they see. :)

[rubycon]

I met my partner on Smooch, its a free site too.

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

Free sites are fine,have no expectations so anything that happens is a bonus.

Incidentally the chap I am currently dating (6 mths now) I met on PoF....he's normal..I think

[mrscolour]

Met my bf on OKCupid. Go for it and see what happens.

[strictlycomedancingdiva]

I tended to find the same guys appeared on both the free and pay sites, at least in my area (also south west). Guardian Soulmates doesn't seem so popular in our neck of the woods! I met current bf on e-harmony, but it was a pay site. POF can be fun!

[theseboots]

Whatever happens, joining a dating site is like being 16 again. You will have to learn to take the knocks and sort the wheat from the chaff. I spent 18 months on a variety of paid and unpaid sites, made 2 good friends and am currently in a happy relationship with a guy I met on PoF.

[maxybrown]

I joined Match and loved it! Had never really done the dating thing before. Met DH on there, been married nearly 5 years and one DS Could tell you a few storeis though

[MagicDad]

I have no experience of online dating, but the woman who set up loveandfriends.com is a personal friend, and that is where I would go if I were in your situation. Basic membership is free. I know for a fact that it is run by a dedicated, honest and very nice woman who is a career matchmaker.

(Interesting snippet: I once asked her what was the single thing that counts against older men when dating. Smoking, apparently. It puts off 90 per cent of potential responders, even those who are smokers themselves! Anyway - don't hijack this into a smoking thread, I was only sayin'...)

Good luck.

[BarmyBiscuit]

Met my DH on a dating site and have been married 4 years now and we have a son

[mojitomania]

I met my DP through POF.

I've found most of the sites, whether paying or non paying very similar. At least POF is easy to use.

[cerys74]

Met my DH through Match.com! The matches they sent me were rubbish though, I found scanning through people in my local area and messaging them myself much more productive.

I then cancelled my membership (mission accomplished, after all!) but then Match resurrected it after 6 months on the basis that I'd probably be single again they clearly have no faith in their business model!!

[Conflugenglugen]

Guardian Soulmates

[elastamum]

Met my lovely DP on e harmony. Gaurdian soulmates is also good but I dnot know what the regional coverage is. BTW, I do drive a volvo, but am buy no means past it!

[issey6cats]

My soon to be ex husband went playing on Match.com and paid to do it, while he was still living with and married to me so not all profiles on there are any more honest than the free sites, i have joined plentyoffish had a few dates but the men are usually not top quality, and smooch.com loads of flirts and messages but no one on there seems to want to actually meet in real life, maybe its because im 55 and not 40, older guys seem to be more cautious

[Lifeissweet]

I tried to get onto eharmony, but having gone through the hours of question-filling, they refused to allow me membership on the basis that I had put myself down as 'separated' not 'divorced' (on the FIRST page of many) and that I would be able to join when I was legally free to do so!

I joined matchaffinity instead. I met DP and we've just had a baby.

[janelikesjam]

Good luck! I joined POF and thought it was absolutely awful, though you do hear of occasional success . I think Match is good. Apart from that a bit hit and miss.

[first1]

I met my boyfriend on pof

[LittleHouseofCamelias]

So did I and he is lovely!

I also talked to some weirdos...