Bit of a personal question, how soon after having a baby did you have sex with your dp or dh? My baby is 6 weeks, dp has made it clear he can't wait to start having sex again. Now 6 weeks has come and he has assumed we will start again. Personally its the last thing I want at the moment. I'm EXHAUSTED mainly, soon as baby sleeps that's what I want to do. I'm sick of dp trying to initiate sexual contact. I don't even want to waste time kissing and cuddling when I could be sleeping. Also I feel fat and ugly with leaky milk boobs! Am I neglecting dp or is this normal. Feel its already affecting our relationship but at the moment if someone told me I'd never have sex again I wouldn't care less. In fact I'd breath a big sigh of relief.
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Relationships
beckyboo232 ·
09/02/2012 17:29
Think this is pretty normal. Talk to him, try to let some affection slowly creep back in I guess? To answer your question we did about 8 week after having ds, for me personally it was a lot about feeling like me again and being me and partner instead of mum and dad. The leaky boobs bothered me though and I asked dp to stay clear 
kodachrome ·
09/02/2012 17:39
Try telling him (gently) not to be Mr Octopus and let you take the lead for now. Tell him, when you're ready you will take him by the scruff of the cock or something 
.
The trouble is if you don't give physical affection to him cos he might try it on, he feels more rejected & gets more desperate & tries it on more, and it can turn into not touching at all and marital chill.
SaraBellumHertz ·
09/02/2012 17:41
It doesn't really matter what is "normal" your DH needs to respect how you feel, regardless. If he is putting undue pressure on you then you need to make it clear that is unacceptable.
How long has varied with each of my DC, and we left it only days in one case but (tmi) i was up for it and DH was lovely and considerate and gentle.
After a number of years of BF leaky boobs have become a bit of a thing
sunshineandbooks ·
09/02/2012 19:16
Tell him that he needs to stop the wandering hands because this is stressing you out and turning you off. If you are bracing yourself for a hug to turn into a grope and you're not in the mood, your libido will die completely. But you do need to tell him this because otherwise he's likely to grope you even more in an attempt to kick start things.
At 6 weeks after birth, he has to accept that you are tired and not necessarily thinking about sex. If he wants you to get more in the mood, he needs to do some night feeds so you can sleep, take the baby for you to have a break, and make you feel like a desirable woman again, not just a mother. If his libido is rampant, then he's clearly not working anywhere near as hard as you - which probably contributes to your lack of desire TBH as no one likes feeling like they're in an unequal partnership.
The good news is, all this is completely normal. It doesn't mean he's a selfish twat and you should leave the bastard. 
However, if you talk to him about all this and he does nothing, or continues to pressure you for sex, you do have a bit of a problem. It's fine for him to want it and feel frustrated that he's not getting it, but it is not ok for him to pressure you for it or to sulk if it's not forthcoming.
TooEasilyTempted ·
10/02/2012 10:29
Agree with others that it's a vicious circle, a hug turns into a gripe which you don't want but he feels rejected and the hug/griping attempts increase and it's a total turn off.
You just need to explain this to your DH (and maybe give him the occasional hand job if you are feeling generous, until you feel up to wanting more )
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