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facebook friend request...

19 replies

boredbuthappy · 06/02/2012 14:47

...from ex-boyfriend? Who I was with for 4 years?

9 years after leaving on a 6 week trip to Australia to visit his dad, and letting me know via email that he wasn't coming back, I get a facebook friend request from him. To put things into persepective, we were planning on getting engaged when he got back from his 'trip', I'd got us a flat in which we were going live after he'd come back from his 'trip'. He asked me to join him in Oz, but I couldn't/wouldn't as it was never on the cards for me (not in the near future at the time), new job, family, among other reasons. To be fair, part of me was happy that he had decided to stay where he felt he would be happiest (britain hadn't worked out very well for him, even though his mum lives here) Anyway, lots of soul searching and time later....it's water under the bridge. Although I did have a mental breakdown a few months after he left and had to move in with my parents temporarily to peel the pieces of my life off the floor and put them back together again...
Today, I'm happily married to a wonderful man and we have a beautiful little boy. I think he's (the ex) is also married or in a serious relationship (from what I could tell on facebook).

My question is this: Do I ignore him and obviously indicate that I'm not interested in being his facebook friend and risk looking like I'm still bitter about it? I'm not, and not that it matters because no one would know...but HE would know.

Do I accept the friend request and risk looking like I still want to be in touch? (not bothered, but why not?) Would my husband be weirded out if he saw I was facebook friends with him (he knows how major that blow was)

The other thing is maybe after befriending him and he's had a trawl through my profile, I probably won't hear from him, we have a few mutual friends between us, so may see him on others' posts, but that'll probably be it.

Maybe I should just ignore it. The fact that I'm asking these questions means I'm thinking way too much about it. Actually, yes, I haven't been in contact with this guy for years, and haven't been his facebook friend since I joined facebook years ago, so doesn't really make a difference.

Ah...writing it all down makes it all so clear!

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squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 14:52

Sounds to me like the hurt is still too much for you to just have a facebook friendship with this bloke. probably best to just ignore the request..

You have looked at his profile, so I assume you were a bit curious.

I think just leaving it alone would be the wisest thing here, because if it didnt bother you, you wouldnt be asking, as you say.