I am going to leave my EA/DV dp

[abouttotaketheplunge]

today. Thats it, I am going to do it. Last straw was last night and I can't carry on this way.

Help!

[GypsyMoth]

Good for you!! I have been there too, you will be fine!

[welshbyrd]

Again good for you!!! I have also been there, only advice I would give is please stay strong, you seem very head strong in your decision now, a word of warning, you will come across times, when you do not feel so strong, and doubt whether your doing the right thing.
Perhaps write a pros of leaving him, and every time you feel yourself weaking, look at the list

[TeeBee]

Well done! Get out while you have your self esteem and confidence left. What tipped the balance?

[welshbyrd]

pro's leaving him list, sorry

[abouttotaketheplunge]

he woke me up at 2.30am to call me a whore and tell me I had hurt his feelings (!?!?)

[TeeBee]

Yikes. Number one on the list - 'Called me a whore'. That would be enough for me to be honest! I'd hurt more than his bloody feelings if someone woke me up to call me that. Get out, stay out.

[abouttotaketheplunge]

I am so scared.

I love him but he can be vile sometimes.

I don't want to be alone again! He is packing. I am at work. I wanted him to fight harder I think

[ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow]

Of course you're scared. And feel conflicted about the contrast between your love for him, and the knowledge that he is vile to you. And I so understand the fear of being alone.

But you are doing the right thing. And you will heal. You will feel better. In time, you will even feel great; free to finally be yourself.

[HappyHubbie]

What a horrible man, you deserve much better. Good for you, it will be hard at first but worth it in the long run.

[lazarusb]

You are at the start of a long but very rewarding road. Nobody deserves to be treated badly. If he isn't fighting more for you that really says it all. Be kind to yourself and well done for having the resolve to do this.

[HerHissyness]

For the love of god let him go, don't let him stay!

My X woke me up at gone 2am, to ask me NOT to call him a TWAT.... erm.. what should I call you then? I had a great FB competition the next day I can tell you!

I promise you love, you will start to feel better in a day or so! I promise!

There are a ton of us either in, or out or about to get out of EA/DV relationships on www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1290107-Support-for-those-in-emotionally-abusive-relationships-4 come over anytime you like and vent, sanity check, or shout out to us to come hold your hand.

We know what you are going through and you are doing the right thing. We'll be with you ALL the way!

well done chick!

[welshbyrd]

Agreed never change, my Ex P, was so violent I moved 400 miles into a womens aid refuge with my 2 DCs

6years on ... was told by his mum he broke his new partners jaw a few months ago

[ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow]

morrissey have you tried the Freedom Programme? It's free and designed to help women get over the aftermath of abusive relationships.

Regarding the new women in our abusive exes' lives: I understand the urge to warn them. But ask yourself: would you have believed anyone who tried to warn you off your ex at the start of your relationship -- particularly his previous wife or girlfriend? Sadly, the new women will only learn from their own mistakes, just as we did.

My only hope is that somebody in stbxh's entourage tells any new woman: "Can you believe that bitch Puppy set the police on stbxh for domestic violence?", and hope that that sets alarm bells in new woman's mind, or a note for future reference once he starts up on her.

[ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow]

Back on topic: abouttotaketheplunge, how are you feeling today?

[welshbyrd]

morrisseysquormince I know exactly what you mean by worried for new his new partner

Even when I came home to visit family, and would see her in the street/shop, she would be giving me daggers [probably jealousy/ her partners ex etc]. I still then, could not help but feel sorry for her. A silly girl thinking she knows him better than me,having had a few months relationship with him, she was certain he was not violent, and it was all in my head,fast-forward 5 years, and for her a few hospital visits later.

Funny though,3 years ago I moved back to the area, knew he would leave me be as him and girlfriend had a baby.It was quite clear he has moved on, and he would leave me alone

First year or so, his P, was still wary of me, usual daggers/looks when she would see me, now, she smiles and says hello, even sent me a friend request on FB