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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

So there is projection I learned on here...

20 replies

want2sleep · 17/05/2011 20:49

What else is there?

I.e touch lighting (I think I heard once)?

I want to learn the language!

So I can then analysis if ex ticks any of the boxes...if not all of them!

Then if I EVER meet another man in say 18 years HAHAA I can have a checkbox at the ready:)

OP posts:

Report

Alambil · 17/05/2011 20:55

gas lighting you mean?

how about... ummmm .... co dependency?

not sure what it is, precisely but I know it's along the same lines

UnlikelyAmazonian · 17/05/2011 20:58

Hi want2. What's going on love? Yes there is projection. In spades.

What is happening and can I offer any help?

((hug))

want2sleep · 17/05/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 17/05/2011 23:22

Are you still up?
I can talk to you about it...

want2sleep · 17/05/2011 23:30

Hi I get worried ex will see that I just asked could it be removed what I wrote above...awful hey still controlling after all this time! Hey need a lot of help ha! Thanks Unlikely

OP posts:

want2sleep · 18/05/2011 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 18/05/2011 02:33

If what you say is right then you have had very bad legal advice. You sound in danger of your life and you need to get this sorted. Why are you terrified of going to social services and have you rung Women's Aid?

I have searched your name and you have posted desperately about this before. If your home is being attacked and you and your son are in danger, which is how it sounds, you need to enlist proper help and be shouting loudly at every authority in the land about what is going on.

Can you be brave enough to report everything, properly and demand protection? It is difficult to tell what nationality you are. Where are your RL family and friends? Who is helping you in RL?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 18/05/2011 02:38

x-posts.
Cyber bullying is a crime. You need to keep reporting him and telling everyone in RL possible what is going on. Don't bother asking yourself questions about how are why he is continuing to harass you, just treat it with cold contempt and go to the police each time. Keep records of all that he does every time he 'pops up'. And keep reporting him.

Who is supporting you and advising you in RL? x

want2sleep · 18/05/2011 20:19

UnlikelyAmazonian I have PM you my life story :(

I am alone no friends or family....I have explained it their somewhere in the book I PM you!

it's weird I know the attacks have stopped but at least I knew he had been then as damage but I get the creepy feeling every now and again he is watching and waiting

One night I dreamt he broke in and slit my throat...the next day he was sitting in car around the corner (2 witnesses police didnt do anything)...thankfully he was spotted and drove off i think that dream saved mine and ds life!

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UnlikelyAmazonian · 18/05/2011 21:42

Thanks for you PM want2 It all sounds hellish. Why do you have no friends? Who is helping you and ds in RL? Is he at school now? Who in your life are you able to confide in/go for a cup of tea with/get some sound advice for your and ds's needs?

Sounds like you should move away completely.

GettingaWarmGrip · 18/05/2011 22:26

Hello want2sleep

your situation sounds very bad. Have you got some help from Women's Aid? They are the experts with abusive exes.

have you been to your doctor and asked for some help? I understand that you are worried about SS, but you need to get some help I think.

Is there anyone who you can talk to? A nice neighbour or another mum from school? Just to have a chat and a coffee?

want2sleep · 19/05/2011 14:26

Thanks UnlikelyAmazonian and GttingaWarmGrip for your support...this is the nearest I get to a cuppa with some someone and a chat {cheers] ladies:)

Ds started school 2.5 weeks ago so on my own at home now in day...at least ds not here if ex did anything. Ds was home therapy/school for 4 yrs until now. House was school and had 1:1 here 6 days a week. So never had time to make friends go to toddler groups etc as ds grew or mix with mums at school. The new school the mums or dads sit in their cars as you drive into the playground to pick the children up....no one hangs around...and as it is IND school I wouldnt tell a sole as ashamed of what my and ds life has been like:( I am awaiting CBT though from WA they have couple months waiting list.

I would love to move completely but just got ds into new school. So cant and the school is excellent so can move within LA but not out. I am waiting for house nect door to sell as far nicer than mine and reduced a lot and still cant sell in 8 months...so I aint got a chance moving:(

Told neighbour about ex who lives oppostite me as she saw cctv and she has not spoken to me since? It is a family area and everyone married with 2.4 children and no one really mixes tbh.

Oh God I am in tears now as realise how bad our life is:((((

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 19/05/2011 15:06

is it an independent special school?

does it have a parents group? get involved - you just dont know until you talk to people what their stories are

if their isnt a parents group ask about starting one, coffee mornings etc

want2sleep · 19/05/2011 17:20

No IND MS school cestlavielife no parents groups needed their...already asked HT but thanks for idea.

Parents dont mix I can tell as parents their that long time they all sit in their cars....I say hello and smile but that is that.

I am trying to get house ready to sell. Think I need to get CCTV taken down though as wont sell with it up? Then risk of attacks from ex again...nightmare!

OP posts:

want2sleep · 19/05/2011 17:26

UnlikelyAmazonian thank you for taking the time to help/read my posts and my WHOLE life story I needed to let it out and as you know I didnt have anyone to let it out to totally as didnt want to post fully on MN as afraid of consequences. It has really helped thank you.

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excaligirl · 19/05/2011 18:03

Want2sleep -- so you are in L.A.?

I looked around for you and though you might want to try calling the D.A.'s office anti stalking team here.

excaligirl · 19/05/2011 18:08

thought* you might want to call them, even.

Doubt you have to get the CCTV taken down to sell your house. It's not really all that unusual to have it so really don't think it would put anyone off.

want2sleep · 19/05/2011 18:35

excaligirl what made you think I was in LA? You 'Looked around for me?' I don't know you? Do I? I dont know anyone in USA never mind LA?

Have you got wrong person/thread....sorry?

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excaligirl · 19/05/2011 18:37

Oh sorry want2sleep. You said, "So cant and the school is excellent so can move within LA but not out" -- I'm from California originally and thought you meant Los Angeles. (not sure what you meant now )

When I said I looked around for you I meant I looked on the web for resources you could contact for help. Please don't freak out!

want2sleep · 19/05/2011 19:08

Ahhh!!! PHEEEEWWWIEEEE!! Yep was nervous then for a bit!

LA in UK stands for Local Authority.

But thanks that is so sweet of you to do that :)

OP posts:

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