Renewing a friendship after a row

[Emilizz]

I had a falling out with my best friend several years back. We were both in the wrong. At the time , I tried to sort things out and asked her to meet for coffee but she said no because things could never be the same again. I felt very hurt and upset at the loss of our friendship.

I didn't see her for years until I recently ran into her when both our ds started at same secondary school. I've met her a good few times in the last few months due to school related stuff and we seem to end up chatting for about an hour just like old times as if nothing has happened. She's also rang me a few times re school related issues/sharing lifts and we chat for ages though the row has never been mentioned .

I would love to ask her for coffee but am afraid that she would say no and I would end up feeling hurt and making a fool of myself.

Any suggestions?

[2blessed2bstressed]

Ask her.....seems as though you're both making litle steps towards mending the rift. I understand what you mean about feeling hurt if she says no, but, in my opinion, it's worth the risk if it means you can put the past behind you and rebuild a friendship.
Come back and let me know what happens

[diggingintheribs]

Make the first move - she's probably thinking the same thing! Would be a shame to drift apart again because neither of you wanted to take that first step

Don't be offended if she says no - she could just be very busy (work, family etc)

[perfumedlife]

Ask her for coffee. She can only make up some excuse if she doesn't want to. It sounds like she has put it to bed and doesn't want to rake over it, which is great. I always wonder what happens when the next crisis hits though, and alcohol is involved, do these old fall outs get dredged up.

I'm terrible, got a memory like an elephant, never seem to forget. Go for it.

[merrywidow]

Fell out with good friend a few years ago. The day my H died someone let her into the house and all returned back to normal, though the incident we fell out about was only breifly mentioned ( and I had to take the blame despite the circumstances which were actually a huge mistake on her DDs part )

Another huge fall out ensued a year later and I haven't seen her since; again I was blamed however I sent her a message that the mess was of her own making - this time I wasn't going to let her get away with laying it on me.

Our frienship is now a thing of the past

[atswimtwolengths]

I wouldn't make the first move, to be honest. I wouldn't let someone reject me twice.

[Primlico]

It does seem that the ice is thawing, and that is what happens with "best friends" whether is it's weeks, months or years. And often it is years. A word of advice, however, don't dredge up the past. Brush it under the carpet, don't dwell on it, consider it water under the bridge. It sounds like on your past attempt at coffee, you wanted to address the issue whereas your friend wanted to avoid it. In that sense, maybe it's better to not suggest the coffee but just make it clear that you really enjoy her company and have missed her and let her make the first move. That way there's no risk of a second rejection and she gets an assurance that you are not hung up on the past.