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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I feel really stupid and selfish posting this.

21 replies

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 13:05

Now that the kids are older they go to sleep later so it means we don't get to have sex at the times we used to and by the time they are fast asleep we are too knackered. Mornings don't work either as they are up early. We have talked about getting a lock on our bedroom door as the kids don't even knock sometimes and even if they do whatever we say they come in. It doesn't feel right though as it feels wrong to having sex when they are up and about. TBH I would like more sex some times than DH does but when weeks go by because we can't get time alone both of us feel a bit though more me I suspect.

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zikes · 16/04/2011 13:12

Lock on the door, new rules for the children on privacy, music on in the bedroom and non-squeaky bed.

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 13:14

LOL .

Thanks for giving me a laugh .

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GypsyMoth · 16/04/2011 13:15

those children need telling that they dont just walk in

why are they not listening to what you say?

BertieBotts · 16/04/2011 13:17

Lock yourselves in the bathroom? ;)

How about signing them up for some strategically timed clubs/playdates/visits to grandma etc so they are all out at the same time once or twice a week?

BluddyMoFo · 16/04/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HipposGoBeserk · 16/04/2011 13:18

How old are the kids?

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 13:20

DH has already suggested the bathroom .

To be fair it is the younger one who doesn't always remember to knock and wait but even if they do knock and wait you still have to answer them and then the moment is gone. It was bad enough trying to have fun as a teenager without someone coming in but now I am a flipping adult and still can't have sex!!

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FAB5 · 16/04/2011 13:20

The kids are 5-10.

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pink4ever · 16/04/2011 16:11

We also had this problem(3 dcs). The suggestion of an afternoon quickie is a good one(do kids go out to play? get gps to take them to park?). When we get really horny/desperate we lock the door and if they come knocking we tell them them we are talking about santa. Works a treat!.

ShoutyHamster · 16/04/2011 17:35

HAHA!

'Heyyyyy...fancy a quick (wink) chat about Santa?'

Oohhh yes please

FabbyChic · 16/04/2011 18:28

Lock on the bedroom door, and go to bed earlier, i.e an hour after the children have gone to bed so you can have some nookie time.

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 20:12

We told the kids they were going to bed at 8. DS1 is not happy that he can't watch a film on his mp4 player and doesn't mind that dh and I want alone time and he will sleep in in the morning .

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GnomeDePlume · 16/04/2011 20:22

FabbyChic speaks wise words. Certainly worked for us. Actually there was a period when our sofa saw more action than the bed!

Fear not, this time passes. Now that DCs are older there isnt a problem. The bolt on the door means that we cant be walked in on which gives us some confidance!

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 22:52

Yes, the sofa used to see action but too risky now as the kids appear sometimes without us hearing them.

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ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 16/04/2011 23:01

Put a lock on your door - then the kids don't have to be fast asleep, just in their own rooms. Surely yours aren't up that late though are they when the eldest is only 10?

Are they allowed to get up and do their own thing in the mornings? Then surely you have weekend mornings at least?

Where there's a will, there's a way!

supadupacreameggscupa · 16/04/2011 23:06

and where there's a willy there's a wayhay!

FAB5 · 16/04/2011 23:06

We just don't want to do it when they are awake. We did once and felt like we were doing something bad and would get into trouble!

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supadupacreameggscupa · 16/04/2011 23:07

GnomeDePlume · 17/04/2011 01:55

FAB5 - this time passes. As DCs get older this whole early morning waking passes. These are times when you feel as though DCs occupy the whole house. This is the time when a bolt on your door is a good idea. Your DCs are now at an age when they need to respect privacy. Not just yours but their own. My DCs are now 11-15, they do not go into each others rooms without knocking first and being invited in.

Oh and remember - this 'something bad' made your DCs in the first place!

atswimtwolengths · 17/04/2011 09:50

What about something like this? It makes a noise if someone comes into the room.

Are your children still awake when you go to bed?

FAB5 · 17/04/2011 16:10

The older one is awake sometimes at nine. DH and I used to love an early evening time in bed and then coming back down to snuggle under the blanket and watch tv together.

He isn't bothered about it as much as me as he wants sex a lot less.

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