Advice needed please - how to split up officiall, if you're not married?

[AhhBisto]

Can anyone please point me in the direction of a website or resource for a couple who aren't married but who are splitting up and want to do so amicably / formally IYSWIM....

Situation is couple been together a good few years, not married, have young dc (she's currently on ML) and house is in his name, he earns more, has more assets. He is on birth certs, has PR.

He says he wants to do the right thing by her, but of course there's no court or course of law to go through here. How can she make sure she's being treated fairly given she has very few rights (I know, I know...).

TIA

[countydurhamlass]

she has rights under the Children Act (Schedule 1) with regards staying in the property and rights under the Trustee and Lands Act, i think, as the house was bought as the family home (presumably).

she is entitled to child maintenance at the CSA calculation

the best thing for her to do is a see a solicitor for general advice (obviously without him knowing) to see exactly where she stands.

[Mouseface]

CBA could help, as could Women's Aid maybe?

She'd do well to go and have a free half hour with a solicitor to see if she can actually get anything from him.

If he has agreed to 'do the right thing by her' then maybe he'd agree to have a document drawn up to that effect?

Sorry, don't really know much, I'm just thinking outloud.

Hope she's okay.

[Mouseface]

X posted with someone who does know

[AhhBisto]

Thank you. House was bought by him, they were a couple at the time but bought pre-kids. Sold his flat (bought before they became a couple by him) to part-fund the house purchase.

They have both contributed to decorating / furnishing it, him much more than her though.

Any solicitor? Or a "family" solicitor / any other type of specialty?

What about access to dc? Can that be written down formally if they decide it between them, or go through solicitors too?

[stripeywoollenhat]

i hope this does all go smoothly - though i'm struggling to understand why the house is in his name only if they bought it together, even if he did contribute more to its purchase: this sort of an 'eye to the future,' i suggest, means that his idea of doing right by her might fall somewhat short of actually doing right by her - and his children.

i could just be a cynic, though.

[Mouseface]

I'd say a family solicitor who actually specialises in this would be better. And she needs to do a list of all the things she wants to know about.

It's easy to forget things she thinks of now and tries to remember at a later date.

[AhhBisto]

he bought it because the deposit was funded by his money and the mortgage by his salary.

trying to keep this dispassionate here and just get advice / facts.

thanks for good wishes though.

[AhhBisto]

what about selling the current home in order to finance rent or purchase of two smaller houses? would she put herself in a weak position if she agreed to this? family house is big and high maintenance, would work better if each had their own decent but smaller place, but he would need t buy them. would she be secure on this basis? sorry I prob need to ask this in legal matters don't I?

[stripeywoollenhat]

fair enough. hope it all works out

[Mouseface]

Ask in legal. There are posters here that know about this stuff, hope one pops along soon. x

[countydurhamlass]

your friend will need to see a family solicitor. for her to stay in the house it sounds like she will have to buy him out to some extent and therefore get a mortgage to do so. can she realistically do this? it may be worth selling up and agreeing a % split between the two of them.

in respect of the children they can draw up a contact agreement although it is not legally binding but shows their intentions. no court would grant a legally binding Order unless they were arguing and couldnt agree on anything. as long as they come to some agreement that is regular and consistent for the child then they dont need to go to a solicitor but it needs to be consitent and regular, not adhoc as this would only cause problems for the children re emotions, routine etc.

is he willing to give her any equity in the house? perhaps they could sit down and work out how much equity is in the house, deduct how much he originally paid in and split the extra between them?

[cestlavielife]

decoratin /furnishin means nothin - furnishins you can take with you anyway.
if she had funded say a 10,000 £ kitchen - then that might count for something.
but as it stands she has no rights to the property at all .

however, she can ask him for maintenance for the children...if all amicable and he agrees she entittled then he could gift her some of the property...

if they sell up and he arees proceeeds split down middle then great. but she isnt legally entitled to any if her name is not on the deeds/land registry - but she can ask for some thing for children, maybe

[cestlavielife]

parenting plans like here are a ood basis to start lookin at what thins they could discuss and agree on and write down together .

www.cafcass.gov.uk/PDF/FINAL%20web%20version%20251108.pdf

my friend had solicitor draw up separation agreement covering finance and contact which her and ex signed. so cost a few hundred pounds each to do but they both treat it seriously.

[cestlavielife]

sorri g dodgy

[Wamster]

Agree with cestlavie.
Sure he can -if he wishes- give her whatever he wants, but if her name is NOT on deeds, not on mortgage and she cannot prove a major contribution to house such as funding an extension, I can't see her being entitled to any of it.

Agree with other poster that he had 'eye to the future'.

Sure she could try to say that they'd agreed for it to be family home etc, but this would no doubt be costly for her with no guarantee at end of it.


As for other assets, I'm afraid if everything is in his name only it's his and not hers at all.
Obviously, he WILL have to support his children financially-married or not (as it should be!)
I mean this in a non-judgemental way but cohabitees really, really do need to realise that they are not treated as married in event of break -up