I hate my brother.

[ChangingNameo]

I really, really do.

This could get long so I really do apologise but things have gone too far for me this time and I think I'm going to explode.

I have a brother who is 40 this year. He is nothing but a complete parasite to my parents and always has been. He's a nasty, selfish, unhinged, narrow minded, creepy, demanding, spoilt little pot head.

He's hardly worked a day in his life. My parents keep him as well as tax payers. He does a bit of "freelance" stuff and that's it. He basically can't work with other people because no one would take him on. All his entire doing because he has such a bad attitude.

He thinks the world owes him everything and has always been a cause of constant stress and upset to the family. I had another brother who was the complete oposite to this one, but sadly he killed himself several years ago to the shock of everyone. It was out of the blue. I got on very well with him and he also despised our unhinged brother to the point where it seemed that my parents doted on him much more despite being a massive fuck up. My brother who died was massively successful and no matter what he did it was like my parents didn't acknowledge him because fuck up brother always came first.

Anyway it's not always been easy for fuck up brother. He was ill as a child, had a kidney transplant. I KNOW 50% of his problem is mental health issues (drug related and just his own issues) but 50% of it is also that he's just a vile shit of a human being who verbally abuses anyone who dares to upset him.

The money my parents give him just gets spent on his pot habbit. He refuses to get help from medical professionals and I don't think he's quite "ill" enough to be placed in a mental health hospital against his will (which is what he NEEDS)

I hate him. He slowly draining the life from my parents. They always worried that he'd kill himself, not my other brother. He threatens to do it all the time telling my mother "oh you got over one son, you'll get over me" just the other day.

They don't need this as they get older. He's getting worse and worse as he gets older. My father has pretty much got to the stage where if it weren't for my mother he'd have nothing to do with him.

He's got police records for weird stalking like behaviour. He freaks out women, he has no respect for women.

The thing that worries me is that I have a horrible feeling that one day he will do something utterly awful. I don't mean kill himself (I bloody wish he would.) I mean he's the sort of person who'd go crazy with a gun or somethig.

I can't stand him near my children but luckily he lives too far away for me to see him more than once a year.

But now being a mum, I can see it from my mother's point of view....that's HER baby!

What a fuck up of a family I have. And from the outside, you'd never guess that's the ironic thing.

Years I've spent tolorating his freaky behaviour. In fact my entire fucking life I've had to put up with it and now my parents are getting older they DO NOT need this henious shit of a human being making their lives more unbareable.

I don't know what to do. Do I sit back and watch it happen? What can I say? I feel so fucking helpless. Everyone will suffer because of him.

I wish he'd fuck off and die. I wish it was him who'd killed himself instead of my other brother. I know it's awful to say that, but it really IS that bad.

[ChangingNameo]

.

[LittleMissHissyFit]

Nothing you can do about him. Only your feelings about him.

Cut him out of your life, refuse to have anymore to do with him. Tell your parents you don't want to hear about him.

Not your problem that he is living off them, nor that he spends their money on dope.

Try to detach. I'll bet the only person stressed in this family dynamic is YOU, so sit yourself down, meditate if you can and let him go. Let the whole scenario slip from your fingers. BREATHE

[EldritchCleavage]

I completely agree about detaching emotionally. On some level your parents have chosen this form of relationship with him and they are all locked into it. Perhaps try to accept it (not like it), because you can't change it.

Also, it may be the more you attack him, or are perceived to attack him by getting angry about what he does, the more staunchly your parents will defend and protect him. If that dynamic is there it is important not to feed it.

I hope that doesn't sound glib-I recognise this situation must be heartbreaking for you.