What do you make of this then?

[lexxity]

DH said to me tonight, do you realise we've been together 14 years in December, I very jokingly tapped him on the bum and said ohh do I get to trade you in then? Laughed and then got ready to feed DS2 before bed.

DH then starts addressing a monologue to DS2, who's only a tiny baby, about how he'd apply for full custody of DS1, get it and pay me nothing!

I feel really quite upset about it and more than a little fucked off to be very blunt. I've supported DH through everything, career training for umpty plonk years, looking after the children, working part time, taking care of the house, supporting him every time he changes jobs, adjusting my life to accommodate his work, etc, etc and feel like he's been working out a whole game plan in his head about what happens if we split up.

We've not rowed or fallen out, earlier this evening we were messing about tapping each other on the bum, cuddling and having a nice evening as a family. The only thing we've disagreed on recently is my wanting to return to work. Am I being totally unreasonable and making a drama out of nothing?

[StealthPolarBear]

well it sounds like his idea of a joke. A hurtful, unfunny, joke taken too far but in the spirit of "being mean" to each other, iyswim.

[tallwivglasses]

Maybe you touched a nerve?

[robberbutton]

Can you tell him that you know the two of you were joking around, but it went a bit too far and hurt your feelings? Hopefully he can then reassure and make it up to you. He probably won't if you don't spell it out to him.

[robberbutton]

(in my experience.)

[dearprudence]

Sounds like he was a bit hurt by the 'trading you in' comment, but because it was said as a joke, he responded with a hurtful joke of his own.