How lovey-dovey are you in public?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

When I'm in a relationship I don't go in for much hand-holding/hugging/kissing etc etc when other people are around. Other couples are alright, but single friends or family members = even arm around partner feels a bit awkward.

Ex accused me of seeming uncaring when other people were around, but to me it's just good manners, wanting to be sensitive to how other people are feeling (know how it is to be the single one with a glued-togeher couple), and just plain embarrassment.

So, am I weird? And how do you behave around other people?

[Truffkin]

I used to be a very anti-PDA person until I met my DH and he thought I was the weird one! I'll now happily hold hands have an arm round or 'peck' type kiss in public but would save proper cuddling for when we are at home. I have absolutely never been comfortable with any kind of snogging in public My DH just used to think it was funny rather than be offended by it and now will find it hilarious to get me to say ' I love you' on the phone if I'm in company at work. He's easily amused

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Weirdly I don't mind snogging at parties/out when everyone's drunk and it's dark etc. But if it's sitting around in the pub with friends I feel weird having a bit of a "moment", kissing, or being kind of entwined. I'm more likely to go to the other extreme and sit separately tbh.

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

So did you just get used to it Truff? Or have you just given in, despite still feeling uncomfortable?

Would he see it as rejection if you didn't go along with it?

[Truffkin]

Initially I just felt uncomfortable if he tried to hug me or put his arm round me (or even give me a peck ont he cheek) in public but he was great and didn't pressure me at all. I think it was this light heartedness that got me to realise that I was a bit 'frigid' about PDA (I use this word to describe, not as an offensive term) and he never suggested that I made him feel rejected.

This was quite a few years ago and my previous relationship had ended badly, plus I traced some of it back to developing a very thick skin and being extremely protective of my self-sufficiency after my parents divorced when I was young.

I would say we still don't go all out for snogging or cuddling in public but oftentimes now I will be the one to instigate hand holding if we are walking along and I will always give him a kiss for example to say hello or goodbye if we are meeting / going out separately from a public place. I would feel comfortable sitting together and maybe having my hand on his knee or vice versa. I wouldn't like 'entwined' ness though!

[KikiJane]

Apparently so lovey-dovey that all of my family and friends are taking bets on when the engagement announcement is likely to take place

[deepheat]

Generally anything beyond holding hands is out of bounds. A peck to say hello and goodbye scrapes into acceptability but it damn well better be on the cheek.

[PoledrathePissedOffFairy]

Agree with Deepheat - DH is very unlikely to initiate even handholding these days.

I do remember

[Mymblesson]

We're quite lovey-dovey, usually we hold hands or I have my arm around her waist when we're walking together. W

e do kiss on the lips, but wouldn't full-on snog in public. Somtimes I'll brush stray wisps of hair behind her ear when we're talking.

That's about it really.

[BitOfFun]

Hand-holding, kissing, not really snogging though. Maybe some light bum-fondling? Which a bloke wearing the same-colured jacket in HMV discovered to his cost.

[Cookie26]

Wow I'm really surprised! DH and I have been together for 8 years and are very "lovey dovey" whether it be in public or private. It just seems natural to us. Don't get me wrong we fight like cat and dog at times and we're more than comfortable sitting apart at parties etc. I suppose we're both just very tactile people.

[Malificence]

Hand holding, check.
Bum fondling while going up escalators, check.
Kissing but not full on smooching, check.
Leg/arm rubbing whilst sitting in company, check.

DH will even reach for my hand or rub my leg while he is driving, soppy thing that he is.

[slug]

In private we are very affectionate. In public not so much.

DH and I work very close to each other. We travel on the train and the tube into work, barely speaking. My excuse is I'm putting my work head on. We go through the tube barriers then kiss each other goodbye. A work friend once saw us do that (he'd never met DH) He said it looked as if I had kissed some random bloke before wandering off down the road.

[PuppyMonkey]

MY BIL and his girlfriend are a typical example of taking things too far in public IMHO. Her mainly it has to be said. Not just a quick peck and stuff, that would be fine, but full blown snogging just when you're in the middle of having a conversation about something random with him.

Plus when they stay with us, every second they are sitting near each other, she is pawing him and stroking his hair. they;ve been seeing each other for years and years too, so it's not like they're all new and fressh and sparkly together.

He doesn't seem to mind, but me and DP think it a bit... intrusive at times.

It's almost like when he is in the room, she's got to "claim" him. Maybe she thinks one of us will steal him from her

[Thingumy]

Not openly affectionate.

It's not me and it's not his thing either.

Can't stand all this feathery stroking and leg rubbing and tongue eating malarky in public.

We are affectionate in our own private time and space.

[Tortington]

marrid for 22 years - hold hands and link arms as a usual thing when walking anywhere. peck on teh cheek as good bye - wouldn't dream of tongues in public or anything!

[Mymblesson]

DH will even reach for my hand or rub my leg while he is driving, soppy thing that he is.

Oh, I like to do that, too. And I've been goosed by the missus in Tesco now and then.

[Ormirian]

Not.

I don't think cars are public though.

[laosvher]

Nothing we wouldn't do infront of the DC.
Anything up to that goes.

[KikiJane]

What does that include/exclude, laosvher?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Ok, so it seems like maybe I'm not some kind of freak :)

Don't get me wrong, I am very affectionate in private, it's more about worrying about making other people uncomfortable tbh. I think it's a complement when (single) friends say how easy it is to hang around with me + P, without feeling excluded from the magic couple circle IYSWIM.

I'm just asking because I knew it was a difference between me and ex-P, but he brought it up again in the big relationship post-mortem chat and it made me think.

[noodle69]

We hold hands most of the time when out. I remember getting told off in the pub for snogging my husband too much when we first met. We used to literally be getting off with each other constantly though then!

I couldnt care less who did what in front of me tbh and it wouldnt make me feel at all embarassed. I often go out with all my single mates whilst they pulling men and that doesnt bother me either.

[PoledrathePissedOffFairy]

Orm, what have you been up to in the car then, young lady??

Elephants, back in my young days, I remember a mate saying it was rather refreshing that DP (as he was then) and I weren't joined at the hip and constantly all over each other. I used to go out drinking with my mates, then meet up with DP and his mates for last orders so that I had someone to go dancing with or to drag my drunken ass home escort me to my door.

[Ormirian]

Nothing. Nothing at all

Well not since the kids have been here.

[Got2Dance]

Definitely hand holding and the odd peck on the cheek. I (bizarrely) always want to give him a hug when we're in the supermarket. He laughs at me now and knows it's best to just give in or I keep bugging him!!

Some friends of ours are way way OTT. They make me feel really uncomfortable with their smooching in public. I had to sit through a whole England match with him giving her a foot massage and then head and shoulder massage. There were about 20 people in a front room watching the game. There's a time and a place!

[Canella]

puppymonkey - do we have the same BIL and SIL??? My SIL HAS to be touching BIL - again the same as yours like she thinks someone is going to steal him away!! she's pregnant now - not sure whether this will make things better or worse!!