When do u find the time for sex with an 11 yr old and a 3 yr old in the house??

[bettiejane]

My dh and just don't seem to get any quality time together. The last time we went out together for a meal was last may.
We have a 11 yr ds who seems to be awake until 10.50 even when we pack him off to bed at 9. Our 3 yr old is asleep by 7. We feel we have no evening time together because our dh is always around and the thought of having a quickie on the sofa is a distant memory.
He will quite happily lie in the next morning but then my dd 3 yr old is up at 6.30! What do other people do??? !

[bettiejane]

Bump

[smartacus]

Late at night when already exausted or when all Dcs are in school or nursery (involves time off work). It is hard!

[Cyb]

Sort out ds's sleeping

Shut your bedroom door


Use a gag

[bettiejane]

Bumpty bump

[LoveMyGirls]

I have an 11yr old and 5yr old and I make sure dd1 is asleep by 10pm, in her room from 9pm she can watch tv or read til 9.30pm.

Could you put a lock on your bedroom door and turn music on or tv on quite loud?

[LoveMyGirls]

We are lucky in the dc's stay at gp's quite often but even if they didn't we would still find a way, at the end of the day we're only 29 and I'm nowhere near ready to give up sex yet! If needs be I think I would ask dd1 to stay in her room with her headphones on - not sure of the reason I would give for this though

[frgr]

sleep routine!

11yr old shouldn't be awake at 10.50pm IMHO even i'm barely awake at that time! but then we do get up early (5.30 and 6am respectively) so maybe there's that.

i will say though - routine routine routine, just like with littler ones. do you pack him off to bed at 9 in the hope he'll drop off? or do you let him watch TV in his room after 9? What punishment do you give out if seen wondering around the kitchen/coming back downstairs after a specified cut off?

trust me, get that sleep routine in place and that's the key :)

[LisaD1]

Agree, your 11yr olds sleep routine is the key. I have an 11yr old and 3yr old. Mon-Fri 3yr old is in bed at 7pm and 11yr old at 8pm, she is allowed to read/listen to ipod until 8.30pm then lights out. None of them ever come back downstairs unless they are ill.

Weekends - 3yr old in bed by 7.30/8pm latest. 11yr old 9pm.

3yr old wakes at around 7/7.30am and one weekend day we get up with her, the other she goes into her big sister's room for a cuddle and a dvd.

[Theturnaround]

I have same sort of problem with 3 kids 8,11,15.......manage couple of times a week but H a complete arse and always moaning about crap sex life!

H fed up with quiet sex......always in bed and never on living room floor or at 10am on a Sunday morning but seriously what can you do?

At the end of the day we do not live alone we are part of a family and you don't have the freedom to have sex when and where you want it is as simple as that!

Can show love to each other with kind words and actions and cuddles......why do men have to be driven by their d**s ????

[frgr]

we have quiet reading time at the weekends, i get my lie in on saturdays whilst DH makes breakfast and cleans up, he gets his on sundays. no child is allowed downstairs without us being there and weekend mornings are reading / quiet time before 9am. (it helps keep the noise down, too - paper thin walls e.g. for neighbours). they are allowed to get up, put on a dvd, get a book to read together before then. but not before.

it REALLY helps to reinforce this with some reward - if they are quiet/well behaved until 9am they get a choice of what we make for breakfast. if not, we choose

it took a while to bed in, but after 2 or 3 months this (painful) effort to establish it paid off, thank god (was about to lose my mind from lack of sleep - eldest naturally wakes at about 5 or 5.30, i don't want to get up at that time on weekends too!)

[frgr]

Theturnaround, not all men are like your DH. If he's not happy with your set up, perhaps he can spearhead some changes? E.g. can your 15 year old not take the other two to the cinema/park once a month on a Saturday in exchange for pocket money? Or something?

Not all "men" are like yours though