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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Help please!

25 replies

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:15

Someone is willfully made it clear that they will continue to hurt my children despite me telling them that what they are doing is hurting them, how the hell do you stop them?

OP posts:

Report

singingcat · 22/12/2010 01:16

hurt them in what way?

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 22/12/2010 01:16

who is it? how are they hurting them?

you will need to give us some more details.

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:18

I don't want to be outed...

The person has not known until recently what they are doing is hurting the child, I have told them and they don't seem to care, actually I am doubtfull it the correspondance is from them at all, I think I know who had a hand in it, and they are evil!!!

The correspondance, made it clear that I was being blamed for something else, that they will do what they want, that this person doing what they want is more important and they will carry on etc...

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singingcat · 22/12/2010 01:20

ok all a bit

if it is something they can be done by the police for, then ring the police!

Physically hurting a child or just upsetting them? If you can call SS then do

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:22

it is not physical, it sounds so pathetic, they are sending stuff to the kids, the thing is there is a lot of background stuff, to do with exh and his lies and abuse, and people linked to him belive him and hate me and hurt the kids... don't know how to say this without making it obvious in rl!

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singingcat · 22/12/2010 01:24

Can you intercept the stuff and send it back?

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:26

I can intercept in future, I am scared of intercepting post in my position as exh may use it as something to hit me with in later years he is major twister of things and messes with people even his kids, I can't send back as I know where the person lives (3 counties away), I don't know their postal address!

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QueenGigantaurofMnet · 22/12/2010 01:30

if it is postal then intercept and store away. do not allow the children to get it but do not throw away either. keep it safe and hidden. then in years to come when the children are old enough to understand fully you can show them. they can form their own ideas.

im afraid thats as good as i can get withouth some more clarity. sorry

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:34

That looks like what I will have to do, along with the correspondance from the person linked to exh, I am raging with anger that they after being asked not to keep sending stuff and hurting the kids, think that because that is what they as an adult want to do that it will happen! I hate having to deal with this bull continually, why can't people * leave kids alone!

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QueenGigantaurofMnet · 22/12/2010 01:36

what is it that they are sending that is so hurtfull?

if it is letters that are saying anything spitefull that can be dealt with by the police.

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:40

We have had the nasty spite before, the thing is they had no idea that what they were sending was causing pain, they are actually not doing anything bad sending the things, it is how it is accpeted as it causes hurt who it is coming from to the children and I explained that, the anger I have is that the adult now has knowledge that it is causing hurt and they could not care less, I don't want to go to the police about it, although anything send from now on is spitefull I suppose!

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MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:43

I know as I am not giving loads of info it is hard, what I would like to give as an example is say someone bullied you at school and they had a best mate that thought they knew the situation, but had been misinformed and thought that they were doing good, but every time they walked past and gave you a smile, that smile to you was not recieved as it could have been sent, and you felt crap and were remineded about their bully friend and if you asked them to stop smiling, and they refused as smiling makes them feel good and they think the smile will help you want you to hang around the bully...

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findingthepath · 22/12/2010 01:50

Is the person getting hurt you or your children?

Could you get gifts and hide them and just say nothing untill chilodren are old enough to undrestand?

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:50

Both!

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findingthepath · 22/12/2010 01:51

Then move house and dont tell them?

findingthepath · 22/12/2010 01:52

Or send back as not know at this address

or lie and say they got lost in the post

findingthepath · 22/12/2010 01:53

Or donate to charity

droves · 22/12/2010 01:55

found the thread !

What i would do is get a hold of letters/parcels before the dc see them.
WRITE ON THEM "not known at this address" and shove them back into the post.
They will get lost in the depths of royal mail , if they have senders address then they will be returned (perhaps for a charge of return postage) .
KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL THEY GIVE UP.

am very tired , need to sleep . will think about this and get back to you (hopefully with ideas on how to stop them).

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:55

The kids are off school, they got it from the postie with their names on it, they know!

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droves · 22/12/2010 01:57

Also if you know they have sent a parcel , when the postie is trying to hand it to you , you are allowed to refuse the accept it.

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:57

I have chalked this up to experience now and have learned now where to go with this now!

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MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 01:59

I am unsure if I should respond to them or not, I am thinking not to respond as that would be feeding the beast so to speak, why oh why is it so much harder to see through your own problems!!!!

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droves · 22/12/2010 02:01

heres a thought .... do you have a close friend you could do a "redirection of mail" with?

GET A REDIRECTION SO YOUR MAIL GOES TO HER HOUSE SO KIDS DONT SEE PARCELS ECT. then you can veto when you pick up mail ?

ITS USUALLY DONE FOR MOVING HOUSE /HOLIDAYS .

MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 02:40

I think it is really annoying to have adults meadling in your kids lives, when they and their kids are nicely protected, who hurt them and you, when they have no right to do so and they feel entitled to do what they want anyways, all smells nasty to me What really annoys me is the exh put the kids in this position and he would get his rocks off at the thought of them being hurt and he gives people the key to hurt them!

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MummieHunnie · 22/12/2010 02:44

I wonder if you were asked to stop doing something if you would tell that person that you felt entitled to do so and twist it all to make out that I am warping things? It all reminds me of emotional abuse from ex all over again, the correspondance was so cleaverly written!

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