friends say i have changed since starting new relationship!

[cherrymonster]

i have been with new man for about 6 weeks now. used to go to my friends house almost every day. i havent been going around as much, but its not because of new bloke (he is friends with my friend too) its because i have been to cornwall twice to see family when my nan died and to go to her funeral, and because i have been busy sorting my house out, and getting my kids stuff ready for school (have 4 dc's- eldest off to secondary, middle 2 at primary and youngest starting primary) and things have been manic. she has been very supportive about my nan's death, but now she says that my behaviour has been really bad (i have forgotten to call her a couple of times) and is blaming it on new relationship. i have explained its not because of that, but she seems adamant that it is. she seems to think that i am completely over losing my nan (we were very close and it was unexpected) and that i should be back to normal. oh, and she only has 2 kids, only 1 of whom is at school

[thesunshinesbrightly]

Sorry to hear about your nan :(


Do whatever makes you happy.

You don't have to explain yourslef too anyone.

[cherrymonster]

oh i know that, but it makes me feel like a shit friend. i was very supportive when she lost her grandparents last year, although i couldnt offer any practical help like she has, i was there whenever she needed me. i just feel like everyone is expecting me to be over it, and i am just, well, not. still very upset about it, it will be 4 weeks tomorrow since nan passed.

[curlymama]

She sounds jealous of your new relationship, is she single? Maybe she is scared that you won't have as much time for her, and then she will have to rely on herself instead. Sounds quite unhealthy tbh.

You shouldn't have to explain why you haven't called her, that's just odd! If I don't speak to my closest friends for a few days, or even weeks, then we just feel it's nice to speak to eachother when we do. You don't have to clock in with ypur friends ffs.

[cherrymonster]

no, she isnt single, she has a lovely bloke and they are planning to get married next year, she even asked me to be one of her bridesmaids the other day. she did the matchmaking between me and new bloke too, he was (and still is) best mates with her bloke, and she got us together in the first place

[coodles]

I had a friend who I'd known for 7 years,we met through our children who used to play together. We'd go out and meet at each others houses a lot.
But it was odd when suddenly I'd phone her and leave messages, but for 2 months I never got a reply. Finally I spoke to her lodger who told me she'd starting going out with someone 2 months earlier. Every weekend she'd be at his house.

Several times we made arrangements, she often cancelled at the last minute or forgot we had an arrangement. The worst time was when she organised to meet up one night, was uncontactable until an hour beforehand and then when we did go out talked about all the things she'd done with him - I realised these tallied with the evenings she'd agreed to meet me and cancelled.

I was pleased for her that she'd found someone, but disappointed that she no longer had time for old friends.She never invited me to meet him and seemed to spend all her time with his friends.

She's now moved in with him and I no longer see her at all..........

[ginnny]

I lost my Nan 8 months ago and I'm still not over it by a long shot, so how you can be expected to be fine again after 4 weeks is beyond me.
She is being a shit friend not you.
Maybe when she set you up with her dp's friend she thought she'd see more of you and you'd be a cozy foursome.
You should tell her that you are busy with the dc and need some space to grieve for your Nan and if she can't accept that then it really is her problem.