What do i do?

[Ladywolf]

My husband has moved out for the time being, to decide whether he wants to be with me or not? First of all, how long do i put up with this before telling him he's too late, now i don't want him. I'm only putting up with it so far for the sake of our daughters(3 yrs and 1 yr). And secondly if we do split, i can't afford to keep the house on my own, will the council find me somewhere and would it be close to my daughters school. I feel so sick and just don't know what to do.

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

If you don't want him then tell him, don't let him decide what you 'want to do'. as to the rest someone who has expereince will be along.

[Flisspaps]

Ladywolf

If you have decided that you don't want him, then tell him whenever you want. You don't have to leave the ball in his court. And don't stay with him 'for the sake of the girls' - so often you hear that people have done this only for the children to have wished the parents had divorced years ago.

As for the house, phone the council in the morning and speak to a housing officer and see what they say.

Get in touch with a solicitor and have a chat about your options. It may be that a financial arrangement can be made whereby H still pays enough maintenance etc to keep the house.

But first, take some time to gather your thoughts. Make a list if you need to of questions/things to sort out and take it from there. Has he left tonight?

[Ladywolf]

I still love him, but he told me on the 11th july that he loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore and was unhappy. No evidence of an affair and this is where we are now. We've been married 11 years and he doesn't seem to want to save the marriage, i don't want to rush him, but i deserve better than being treated like this.

[Ladywolf]

He left at the beginning of the week, we told our eldest he was working all week, he has been phoning everyday but has told me to act like he isn't coming back then if he does it will be a bonus.

[Tippychoocks]

Bonus? Put the fecking flags out, he's deigned to turn up. What a horrible, horrible thing to say and a crap position to put you in.
It's still early days but if you want him back then I don't think you can wait forever for him to dither about. Call his bluff and tell him that you've made it clear that you want to work it out but that he has to attend relate or similar with you if he wants the door left open.
Ring the council and book an appointment to see a housing officer. Can you not stay where you are though? Presumably you will be entitled to housing benefit to cover your rent and some income support if you don't work. Council housing can take forever and you may not get a choice of staying near the school but Iw wouldn't worry about that just yet: get the ball rolling with an appointment to see what you're entitled to.

I think you have to do as he says and act as if he's not coming back when it comes to sorting out benefits/tax credits etc because they take time to come through and you can't afford to wait for him to decide.If you get back together, it's much easier to change your claims back again than it is to start from scratch.

[Flisspaps]

A bonus?!

Have a listen to Ladywolf...then tell him to sling his hook. You're supposed to wait around for him to make up his mind about what he wants to do?

You're right - you DO deserve better than this.